Remarks

Hello.

2012-01-31T12:30:00.000-08:00

I'm finishing up Stephen King's newest, and it's all I can do not to go back and edit my previous two horrendous posts. I'm embarrassed that those of you who read my blog and know that I'm an editor and sometimes writer...know that I'm an editor and sometimes writer and posted those blogs.

Oh well (I say, cringing). There just isn't time.

What there IS time for is rearranging my living room/dining room area, cleaning and playing with babies. One of them is tapping a small mirror on my knee while slobbering all over herself and saying, "a duh duh duh...aaaaaaaa....*spittle spittle gurgle*...yAAAAAAA....ah yuh yuh...guh guh," you get the picture.

It's Drue.

Just kidding. Drue is napping. My napping QUEEN! She reigns on her sleepy throne! I love her.

Paigey, on the other hand, does NOT like naps. Oh, no. She does nap. I would not let her not nap. But she fights it and will never sleep as long as Drue does. Luckily, she's also really pleasant and happy to play by herself for long stretches when she's awake.

We watched "The Bear Movie" the other night (aka "Over the Hedge"), so Drue's into that these days. I'm cutting down TV time though, so we watch it in spurts (and I always skip the scary chapters, especially with her having nightmares lately, which are getting better btw). We are down to 3 hours of TV a day. That might sound like a lot of TV to some, but it is NOT. It is difficult to watch only that much TV, and mostly because I'm so super selfish with my time. I really don't mind clunking them down in front of the tube. I can get my stuff done! But lately I've been feeling less OK about it, especially as Drue is getting older and I'm realizing that she just isn't good at PLAYING.

We're a couple of weeks in, and she's already playing better! Paige loves to play, so we're good there. We're listening to more music and doing more activities together. And it's HARD, but so good. So worth it. It's a discipline for all of us.

Other things are happening, but I don't have time to write about them in detail. Let's throw a list out there. A list of VERY important things, starting with:

I'm parting my hair in the middle now.
Nobody is commenting on ANYTHING I post on Facebook, and so I'm convinced EVERYBODY has blocked me.
Being married stuff.
I am picking up Little Caesar's Pizza tonight for community group and couldn't be more excited because Little Caesar's makes me think of home (i.e., Norman, OK).
I think about writing a book again almost daily, and never start.
We're getting an Elliptical machine any day now, and that's why I just rearranged our living space. Yes, we're putting it downstairs for everyone to see.

That is all.

Groceries and Griperies

2012-01-24T05:54:00.000-08:00

Do you love grocery shopping? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I love it when I make it within budget, which lately is pretty much never, which is probably why I'm so frustrated and writing this post.

Making the grocery list is like putting a puzzle together. Part of me likes this, because it feels satisfying when I've made a good list. Part of me loves sitting down with my big recipe book and magazines that I haven't torn the recipes out of yet, and deciding. Most of me hates it.

Let's just gripe for a minute. At the moment (and that is very important here), I:

* am tired of thinking about how to feed four people lunches.
* am tired of stressing about the amount of produce I can buy without going over budget.
* have a (previously mentioned) huge book of recipes and still feel like I have nothing to cook.
* feel like I have no go-to recipes other than spaghetti and burritos.
* want more go-to recipes.

Okay, now let's be happy...

I am thankful I have three other mouths to feed; it's just hard sometimes, and that's probably normal.

Occasionally I get to go to the grocery store by myself or with just one baby, and even going with two can be really fun because I have two great girls.

We have a Trader Joe's reasonably nearby.

There is food in my house.

I have no right to gripe about anything, but man, let's just get it out there: yesterday was HARD. I have come down with the cold that the girls just finished having, and we had a "playdate" at 10:30, so I decided, because Monday is grocery and laundry and basically just clean all day day, that we'd go ahead and get our errands run before the playdate and just leave the groceries in the car while we were there (it was cold). Never, if you're me, plan to run three errands before a 10:30 playdate, especially on a cold and wet day when you're all in huge jackets and boots and etc.

Trader Joe's was fine.

Target (there are almost always a few things I can't find at TJ's, which is another issue) was not as fine. Starting to sweat; girls starting to get tired...

Bed, Bath and Beyond was a MISTAKE. Really sweating now, and the girl who's helping us find this alarm clock for Drue is taking FOREVER, and I can't put Paige down because what she wants isn't down (because I would have put her on any dirty floor at that point) but to EAT and NAP. This poor girl helping us; I was making it very clear that I'd appreciate it if she'd just STOP TALKING TO US AND LOOKING THIS UP ON YOUR COMPUTER. I'VE CHANGED MY MIND AND JUST WANT TO GO! My throat is also starting to hurt at this point, which is frustrating because that means I'm getting this stupid, snotty cold.

We get back into the car and buckled in (over the huge coats - that's a feat) and nobody is straight-up crying, but there is whining. "We're going to Miss Kate's house, guys. It's right around the corner. We'll eat some lunch. It'll all be good. Let's try not to whine."

I pull out my phone to text our friend and tell her we're coming. I have a text message waiting for me. "Did you get Kate's message? She can't have anyone over till 11:30. Rough night with Addy." (Addy is Kate's brand spanking new baby.)

Well, the selfish bastard in me was frustrated. My plans had been foiled. Kate...poor Kate...she was up all night with a new, screaming baby and dealing with that "all I can do is nurse and I feel like a cow" feeling, plus the zombie feeling, and I'm thinking about ME?!?! I'm such a good friend.

We drove the 15 minutes home, and it wasn't as bad as I'd made it out in my mind to probably be. Paige fell asleep. Drue became content (by the mercy of our Lord), and I prayed for Kate and repented about my ugliness. No, we wouldn't be coming back at 11:30, but that was probably best anyway, since I was coming down with a cold. We'll see Kate and her sweet, precious Addy another day. And not after running three errands.

Memorization

2012-01-17T06:28:00.000-08:00

It finally struck me the other day while driving and singing a random song from the early '00s to which I knew ALL the lyrics...that if I have this huge compartment in my brain full of song lyrics (literally thousands of songs, I would think), then my children have the capacity to memorize SO much scripture. That I had that capacity as well, and maybe still do?, but that I probably ruined it by filling my brain with noise, etc. Granted, many of the lyrics in my head are hymns, so that is good; it's not calling to mind scripture, but it's close. All to say, when we talk about how people in biblical days were able to memorizes passages of scripture (BIG passages), it's not just something to laugh at and go, Yeah, right. Because I did that. I didn't REALLY believe it. But why? I believe it now. I wish I had had a classical education, or at the least an education that utilized more memorization, and specifically memorization of scripture. Why didn't I get this until just now? OK...gotta go play in a tent with a two-year-old (who, by the way, is having a terrible time with emotions lately; more on that later).

May I join you in the bathroom? Why, yes! Of course!

2012-01-04T06:07:00.000-08:00

I once read that a mom who wants alone time should utilize the bathroom. In my experience, this does not work. And it's hilarious.

This morning...

I needed to wash my head, so while Collin was downstairs ironing his work clothes, both girls happily playing around his feet, I snuck upstairs to do so: alone.

NO more than 120 seconds later, upstairs comes Drue, her new, gigantic pencil in tow.

"Mommy? Mommy! What you doing?"

"Hey, baby. I'm--"

"You washing your hair?"

"Yep."

At this point I'm kind of laughing because I realize, again, that I will not be alone between the hours of 7 a.m. and 8 p.m. until I'm 40 years old - unless the girls go to school, but that's another conversation. It *feels* like I won't be alone until I'm 40; that's for sure.

"I splash it for you?"

"What?"

She makes a motion to splash the water with her hands, and I say no thank you. Then the singing begins.

"La la la...la da daaaaaah!" And chanting. "Mommy's elbow! Mommy's elbow!"

All the while she's either marching or "drawing" on my back with her gigantic pencil and then laughing. And all the while my eyes are burning because I've gotten next to no sleep, but I'm also thoroughly enjoying it because, well, who wouldn't?

Hungry

2011-12-06T10:57:00.001-08:00

Instead of visiting Pinterest for the tenth time today, I figured it’s time to write about The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins, since I just finished it and since the movie trailer recently premiered online. Suzanne Collins remains a mystery to me. Her picture does not grace the covers of her books, and I’ve not looked it up online because, really, I’m afraid if I see her face I’ll like the books less. (This happened with the Twilight series.)

Collins’ post-apocalyptic America is fairly imaginative. Torn into districts of people who are basically slaves to the Capitol and whose children run the risk of being drawn into the Hunger Games each year, Panem is a place I don’t want to visit but am curious enough about. The first book in the series is compelling, setting up this world, this crazy idea that captures the reader’s interest right away because, let’s face it, we all like some gruesome (read: Stephen King’s Danse Macabre). So, we’re in. Collins knows the story-writing tricks, her obsession with food description is right in line with the culture’s foodie, gastro-pub obsession, our heroes have a fair amount of depth, her Capitol characters are a good amount of colorful. It’s a good read: for the most part.

The things that get me where it hurts are the love interest, which, now that I’m rethinking this, I might not even be able to criticize because, who is our target audience? Teens. And what do teens love? Love. But there’s that, and then there’s the heroine Katniss Everdeen’s cluelessness. I don’t know whether Collins assumes the reader will know what’s going to happen before Katniss does all the time, but we do. And that’s not good writing technique. If there is to be mystery, and there is because there is suspense, it must remain mystery. We must find out with the hero.

The second and third books start at a snail’s pace. The second because of a load of exposition that the reader could definitely do without. The third because we simply don’t care and we want to get to the action. But this happens in many a good book, so I’ll let that one slide as well. What I won’t forgive is the absolutely unnecessary epilogue. People have debated epilogues since the epilogue existed. I take comfort in knowing that I’m of the humble yet accurate opinion that epilogues are almost always the wrong choice.

So, go ahead and buy The Hunger Games on your Kindle, but don’t go out and buy the hardbacks. Expect some suspense coupled with some unfortunately obvious “twists,” a couple of characters you might like enough to follow through to the end, a love story that might remind you of your teen years, and a world that might soon be to come.

Life in Delaware:

2011-12-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

Looks like this...

I drag myself out of bed when Paige wakes up between 7 and 8. (She's still eating at 5 a.m., so that's fun.) Collin gets up early and takes care of Drue until I arise (sometimes because Drue has bursted into my room and shouted, "Mommy! Good morning, Mommy!" - I love those mornings the most). I enjoy making a French press of super black coffee and drinking the entire thing over the next two hours. The girls play or watch a video while I spend a few minutes on the computer, because DON'T JUDGE ME. Drue usually eats something else during this time, because Daddy doesn't quite know how to feed her yet. Just kidding. But she's always still hungry.

Next is get-dressed time. I often have trouble making it back up the stairs at this point. (Sometimes I think if I just went out for a jog after feeding Paige at 5 a.m. I wouldn't be so tired all the time, but I love bed.) We make it upstairs, and we get dressed (on the mornings that I actually do shower, that happens before Paige wakes up). Drue tells me she doesn't want to put on her pants, then that she doesn't want to put on her socks, but we do it anyway. She is starting to put her clothes on herself some too. Paige HATES getting dressed. Hates. It is pure, unadulterated torture. But if I didn't dress her she would be frozen, because our house temperature sits right around 67. Is that cold? That seems cold to me.

If it's Monday, we go to the grocery store and get back in time to watch most of Sesame Street. Drue eats lunch while she watches. I put groceries away and then feed Paige some sort of solid food then nurse her. All the while, I'm doing laundry, which I've been doing since I got up and brought myself to collect all the dirty clothes in the house. After SS we go upstairs and have play time, reading time, etc., and the girls go down for a nap around 1. Other not-Monday mornings include either a morning nap for Paige and Drue and I doing some kind of craft or playing or putting away the dishes. We go to a friend's house most Wednesdays for a play date type thing. We usually go the mall once a week, maybe twice if I'm dying to get out. On days that we're out, Paige snoozes in the car at some point or skips her morning nap. She's a pretty easy-going gal, except for the getting dressed.

During naptime I do any number of things, the majority of which involve me on the couch, on the computer - or reading a book or sleeping or all of the above. And if it's Monday, I probably spend at least half of naptime sweeping and mopping the downstairs and folding laundry. (The housework that takes place the other days of the week I usually do while the girls are awake, or I don't do it at all. Though I've found that I can get A LOT done in 15-minute chunks. Brilliant!)

After naptime, it depends on the weather, but I like to get Drue outside. Even if we've gone somewhere that morning, she needs OUTSIDE time. Walking to the park, around the block, to the store, even just playing on the porch for a little bit. She needs it, and so do I. It's getting cold though, so I'm afraid these times aren't going to last much longer.

I've been asking Drue to help me with dinner lately too, which is fun - and frustrating - but mostly fun. We eat early, pretty much right when Collin gets home at 5:30. Then it depends on the day again. We have a lot of people over to our house for dinner; we sometimes have "date night" after the girls go to bed, which means we make dinner together then; and Tuesdays we have community group at our neighbors' house. We sometimes take the girls to someone's house, but that involves lugging the pack-n-play, which is a hassle. We nearly never go out to dinner, so if we do that's always a really fun treat - that almost always ends in my thinking we've been robbed.

I kind of live for Saturdays and Sundays these days. And here we are on a Saturday, and I need to get off the computer and go do things with my family. More later.

Paige

2011-04-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been too long since I've posted, but that's probably because I've been getting used to mothering two children under 2. Whoa. This is work. I knew it would be work, but I'm remembering now how difficult those first 8 weeks were with Drue. Thankfully, I don't think it's going to be a whole 8 weeks of "terrible" with Paige. Sunday is the 4-week mark, and I'm evening out emotionally, doing well physically and doing fairly well functionally. I have been getting at least a small nap every day, and I realized this morning in the shower that I've finally gotten used to much less sleep (if one ever gets used to that). We had a bad night last night (Paige has a cold), and I was standing there in the shower thinking, How am I doing this (i.e., standing)? But I am. Okay, I must be through the newness.

We're working into a schedule of sorts, and I feel like I can kind of read Paige. She wants to be held most of the time. She eats more often as the day progresses. She needs two big naps and is awake otherwise, which is weird because Drue took four naps a day. But then, I was much more scheduled with Drue. Anyway...we're doing this. I don't know how, and some days I might have to call my friends bawling (already done that many times), but we are doing this.

And here is my sweet Paigey Poozers.

FROM SCHEDULED TO DEMAND FEEDER

As I mentioned, I'm not doing a schedule per se with this baby. Why OH WHY did I not believe babies work into their own schedules? Oh wait, I did, but I thought (because of the baby book I chose to read) that that schedule would be horrible, and the child would rule my life rather than I hers, and it would be bad bad bad...etc., etc., the world ending. Yes, babies work into their own schedules, but those schedules are good. They are best for the baby AND Mom, can you believe it? The schedule we've naturally worked into does not rule my life. I am still the ruler here. But it WORKS BETTER THAN THE SCHEDULING I DID WITH DRUE EVER WORKED. And Paige is already sleeping (on good nights) more hours in a row than Drue ever did.

That last part could just be Paige, but still. I am now a demand-feeding, no strict scheduling mom, and I - and Paige - love it.

As for how Drue is doing? I will have to post on that at a later date. It's time for a few minutes of Internet surfing before babes wake up. (Yes, the "schedule" includes both girls sleeping at the SAME TIME in the afternoons. Woot!)

In Lieu of Thank You Notes, Blog

2011-03-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

I really need to write those thank you notes. So I'll be quick.

A week from tonight I will not be sleeping because I will be too excited that in the morning, our second baby girl arrives. Unless she comes early, which I'm still all for.

Tonight the guy took Drue to a church plant meeting. I was going to go but for a few reasons decided I didn't want to, and wanted him to take her with him. One reason is a little embarrassing. My mother-in-law gave me money for a pedicure, which I got this morning. It was fabulous. I don't usually like pedicures, but at 39 weeks pregnant, they're fabulous. Well, little lady doing my toes up-sold me an eyebrow wax at which time she up-sold me a, dare I admit it, lip wax. I've NEVER waxed my lip, because I don't need to, because I'm not very hairy. When the lady said, "You get lip done?" I asked, "Is it really necessary?" And she nodded her head vigorously and said, "Yeeeeees." So, I got it done, and now I have lots of splotchy on my face. Therefore, no meeting.

I also wanted Collin to take Drue because I was getting so frustrated with her; I just wanted to be alone for a while. Is that terrible? Collin was later than usual getting home tonight, and I think I've figured out that she doesn't like that. I think she knows when he's going to be home, and she really looks forward to it, because come five o'clock she starts getting really grumpy. And then when Daddy comes home it's like this night and day improvement. She is so happy the rest of the evening until bed. Is that too cute? I think it's too cute. But I wasn't dealing well with the grumpy bear. So she is with Daddy, and I am glad. They are a pair.

I really must get cracking on these thank yous. I have so many to write. I can't believe how many folks have bestowed such kindnesses on us this second time around. We've needed it and appreciate it. One week to go!

Thoughts

2011-03-06T18:51:00.001-08:00

I can't believe how small babies are at the one-year mark. I thought Drue was so big then. I was wrong. She is so big now. And of course, a few months from now I'll think she was so small at 21 months. She has hit a little growth spurt, though. I looked at a picture taken mid-February in which she was so very chubbalicious, and now she is suddenly looking so thin.

Since I don't have the energy to think of a topic on which to post, I will simply write what is going on in our lives in list form.

1. The nursery is gutted and ready for another life to (eventually: she'll sleep in our room for a while) inhabit it. It looks so cute!

2. I hope the baby comes early. I want to experience at least a little bit of labor and not just go in for my "baby appointment" March 29. I realized this tonight at dinner with friends. I kind of blurted out that I "loved labor," and Collin looked at me like I was crazy. But I did, in a difficult way to explain, love it, and I want to go into labor early so that I can experience at least a little bit of it again (and not have chosen my daughter's birthday...so weird). Actually, I'm realizing that I want to go into labor early because ultimately I want to be able to labor naturally again and not have a c-section at all. :(

3. The in-laws visited this weekend and helped out a lot around the house. We will see my parents this weekend. It is strange to think that this is our last round of visits without another child in the mix.

4. I am constantly back and forth with how I feel about the birth of our Paige Dallas. Most of this has to do with my concern for our Drue Alison, and how she will handle it. (That and my fear of lack of sleep and how I handle that.) I know that it will be good for Drue, good in general, great!, but part of me wants her to the be the center of the universe a little longer. And of course, by "the center of the universe" I do not mean "the center of the universe," for Christ is life, yes? But you know what I mean.

5. I am getting to know my across-the-street neighbors a little better, which I am thankful for. I would like to become friends with the youngest of the bunch, Stacy, who has a five-month-old baby girl, Rachel, and to invite her to do something sometime, but I don't know how yet. I imagine an outlet will come. For now we just talk when we pass outside, which is often. And Drue looooooves going to see baby Rachel, so that's fun.

6. Collin and work stuff. Hmm... Maybe I'll post about this later. Let me just say now that being on the job market for three years is difficult. I do not love academia; at least not today.

Living Room Camp Outs and Bras

2011-02-12T19:14:00.001-08:00

The guy and I have been camping out in the living room every night for the past few weeks. It all started when the heater stopped working efficiently, and our room was too cold to set foot into. Now everything is back to normal and we're still out here. C on the floor and me on the couch. Previously, C had been on the floor in our room, next to the bed. I had the entire bed to myself, but still I wasn't sleeping well. I sleep much better on the couch. I'm not sure why. I also find myself waking up on my back a lot and being comfortable there. At 33 weeks pregnant, isn't that strange? Not good?

This evening I talked to a friend who recently had a baby, and I was reminded that in six weeks we are going to have a newborn on our hands again. I don't know if we're ready. Right now all we can think about is where is Collin going to get a job? Are we moving? What will Drue say next? Do next? Poor Paige...we just haven't thought about you very much.

Before D was born, I wrote in a journal to her often. I've never been a great journaler, so it wasn't daily, but at least I was doing something. I need to start doing that for Paige. I need to start doing something, like rereading a book about how to, for lack of much better words, deal with a newborn. I've already taken care of one, and not even that long ago, and I feel clueless. I think I think we'll just find out what P is like and how she is different or similar from Drue and go from there. We didn't have a necessarily set plan with Drue, and we'll have even less of one with Paige. All I know is I want to nurse her more and stress about her schedule less. Which reminds me, I need to go get a GOOD nursing bra. Any suggestions?

OK, and since I've included the word bra in the title, I must share a funny Drue story about bras, mine specifically. Sometime while Collin was gone on interview I had slept in the living room, and instead of changing into some semblance of pajamas in my room before heading to bed in the living room, I just popped off the bra and slept on the couch in whatever I was wearing that day. The bra stayed in the living room with me, and the next morning, before I had picked everything up, Drue found the bra, picked it up and exclaimed, "Ooooh, woooow! Wassaaaaat?!" Hilarious.

Gunky Birthdays

2011-02-06T18:59:00.001-08:00

My second daughter will be born Tuesday March 29. Incredible. Our guy wanted to know why I liked the 29th over the 28th (we were given both options; I'm having a c-section). "Because I like the number better," I said. Is that so weird? Now both of our girls have entirely odd-numbered birthdays.

It would have been cool if we could have done 3-31-11 (also because Drue's bday is a 31), but ah well. Twenty-nine is, as my dad would say, solid. Now if I could only get this most recent ultrasound pic scanned and up online. It is c-razy. Her eyes are open, and you can only see one of them because her hand is up over the other, but it is staring at you. It's a picture of a sad eyeball. Anyone who isn't me would think it is creepy. I think it is marvelous.

C is gone again. We partied hearty at the Spencers' tonight, and I made myself sick on dessert. Surprise! Drue had fun but was ready to come home at 8. WAY past her bedtime lately. She has an ear/tubes followup tomorrow. There is so much gunk coming out of her left ear, there is no question the tubes are working, but my question is: why SO much gunk?

The Sunday Before the Week Before the Sunday Our Guy Goes to Cali

2011-01-23T18:59:00.000-08:00

Today I slept in a bit because I didn't sleep much last night. Back pain. I tried taking an actual walk yesterday (instead of doing my walk-in-your-living-room workout), and it tore me up. Why? Drue woke me up by opening the door to our room and walking up to the side of the bed, as she usually does, and saying something while patting the bed. I wonder what it's like to see Mommy (or Momma, as she's been calling me the last week) appear out of the mound of covers on the bed. I think it's somewhat scary, because she always stands back a little bit, and toward the end of the bed, like she's ready to bolt if whatever comes out of the mound is NOT her Momma.

We got ready for church and headed out in just enough time to arrive at 10. Drue loooooves going to church. She gabbed the whole way (she usually whines in the car). She loves seeing all of her friends and tromping around. She walks with much purpose. She talks to herself and others and looks for "Becca" and "Bobby" and "Ashey," etc., and then remembers there are "cookies" and asks for one.

Today she sat with the Shipmas during church, which was cute, but I must admit I missed her. Strange? She was right across the aisle. I stuck half a piece of gum in her mouth at the beginning of the service, hoping it would keep her quieter than usual. (Bad mom?) She did great, or the Shipmas did. One of the songs we sang as a congregation was actually "Jesus Loves Me," so Collin and I had fun watching D's look of surprise when the entire room burst into the song she hears every night before bed. At a few points I even saw her try to mouth the words and attempt to sing, but I think she was too overcome with surprise to think much about singing.

I was a little upset at church. Understatement. I was grumpy and brought to tears when a teenager ran into me and almost knocked me over. (He's a sweetheart and was playing with the kids and accidentally knocked into me...but he's a crazily muscley football dude). It jarred my already hurting back something fierce, and I felt the baby, and my uterus, shimmy-shake, and so I was standing there talking to my friend Tim about C's upcoming job interviews, and I was suddenly was overcome with emotion when this kis ran into me. He didn't see me start to cry (thank goodness...he already felt terrible...truly the sweetest kid I've ever known). I don't know what it was. I just got upset. I apologized to Tim and all but sprinted off and slipped into the cry room to cry/try to stop crying. (The baby cry room, ha.) OK. I was OK. Mostly hormones and upset about my back hurting. But I could deal.

Then church starts, and Mike is praying, and all I can think is, I'm getting ready to start bawling. I feel like crap. What is going on? I tell Collin, and he suggests I "go have a good cry." It was the same advice he'd given me the night before when I laughed at a Facebook comment until I started crying. He'd said, "Why don't you just go to the bedroom and have a good cry?" (instead of trying to pull it together). NO. I had to pull it together. I was being crazy.

Today I took his advice. I left and went into the bathroom to cry it out, as it were, and it worked. All my body wanted to do was cry, so once I let it, it was done. I was no longer upset about much of anything. Hmm...as I'm writing this I'm thinking about babies and the "crying it out method." Hmm...

Anyway, things were normal again. We sang "Jesus Loves Me," and C took Drue to the nursery for the sermon. I sang for communion and all was normal. And remained normal. I guess there's no big ending to the story.

We came home and put Drue down and SLEPT. Collin on the floor and me on the couch. We slept the entire length of her nap. In silence (meaning no fan). I have come to appreciate silence so much these days. It was more than nice, until I felt like crap when we got up. But nonetheless, there were things to do...like make German chocolate cupcakes for small group, since the food theme tonight was German. Delicious and a great time with friends. A sad time too. A time of a lot of prayer. Somebody's dad died tonight. I don't know the family, but the news made me feel woozy like when you drive over an unexpected lift in the road. Still, there is something about sitting around with friends and reading Psalms.

Came home and put babe to bed. C watched an episode of Frasier and I read blogs. And now I am writing one. And now I am going to bed.

Remarks from the Blue Chair

2011-01-22T18:09:00.001-08:00

We no longer have the green couch. That's a lie. We do. It's in "the garage room," which we don't use because we might be moving, and that's where we keep all the boxes I still haven't unpacked since we moved into this house.

The green cover that was on the green couch IS long gone, and now, if ever I write this blog, I write from a blue chair and not a green couch.

The chair is one of two my grandmother gave me. The same grandmother who buys Drue the most precious Baby-Gap-Manequin outfits. My mother bought the pillows for the chairs, and the two of us picked out the lamp that sits on the table between the chairs.

But that's boring.

Our guy got a second job interview in the same state as the first: Califronia. This means that next Sunday and the Sunday after he'll be flying out to Cali to try to secure a tenure-track position at one of two private colleges. I couldn't be more proud or excited...or scared. California? If ever there were a state I'd say I wouldn't mind moving to, California would probably be it, but being faced with the fact that we more than likely will be moving there (at least it feels that way) is...whoa.

One of the two colleges is a very prestigious, small liberal arts college. The other is a fairly (I think?) prestigious Christian college. Very different. This is interesting. When our guy had to write a statement of faith for the latter school (which bothered him), he was not rosey. He wrote a very honest, very beautiful, but very, I'm guessing, not-the-norm statement. I wasn't sure the people at this college would read it and be interested in him. The fact that they are makes me like the school without knowing much of anything else about it. But at this point I'd rather he get the job at the other college, if only because I know he wants that job more and it would allow him to do more research.

Geez...I can't believe Drue is going to (maybe...probably) be a California Girl. Eep!

Speaking of our girl...Drue has new words every day. I had no idea that she finally learned that a duck says quack. She did. She said it while looking through an animal book with her daddy after our Saturday Evening Family Outing.

We took her with us to Applebee's tonight because we had a gift card. She drank very watered down lemonade and tried a few bites of boneless buffalo wings, celery (or should I say bleu cheese dip?), breadstick (which she called "cake" until she tasted it), provolone-stuffed meatball and pasta. She, of course, finished early and proceeded to tell us, "All done! All done!" which meant she wanted DOWN, but we appeased her with my lipstick (into which she stuck her finger), a small jar of hand sanitizer ("hands"), a to-go box, and finally, a half a stick of gum from our waitress. This did the trick.

We then took the family to Barnes & Noble and watched D tromp around the kiddie section and perform on stage and make sure her daddy was watching. She loves his attention more and more. She absolutely loves Saturdays and Sundays because we're BOTH home, and when she wakes up from her nap those days she immediately goes looking for "Dahddy" and climbs into his lap and gives him at least two kisses. It is maybe the cutest thing ever.

I don't mind us all being home either. :) I seem to live for the weekends these days, mostly because C has been working late evenings to prep for the job interviews and presentations he has to give. So we don't see a lot of him weekdays. So it goes. Everything in seasons.

Our other little girl, who will be named Paige, is a mover and a shaker. I have enjoyed feeling more movement this pregnancy. It is something I am always fascinated with. In order not to gain any more "me" weight these last two months--and in order to be able to sleep at night--I've been trying to get at least some kind of low-impact workout each day. It feels good, though I still ONLY want to eat dessert. I refrained tonight from going to Braum's after eating a huge dinner at Applebee's and instead filled a small cup half full of dark chocolate chips. Not too bad, huh?

Anyway, I can't believe she's coming at the end of March. It still feels surreal. I keep envisioning seeing Drue for the first time and thinking, This is really going to happen again? What is that going to be like? Who is she going to look like? Are we going to parent her the same, or will she require a different style? Etc. I'm starting to get "nesty," though it's difficult to get too nesty when we might be moving so soon. Crazy.

As excited as I am, I'm also very nervous: about how Drue is going to do, about sleep, about how I'm going to take care of TWO HUMAN BEINGS. I already struggle with guilt every day, feeling like I don't do enough to educate Drue. Ugh. And we don't even have half the things we had for Drue when she was a babe, because we were borrowing them (exersaucer, playpad, etc.). Ah well...it's going to be fine and great and different.

Disjointed Christmas Post

2010-12-08T19:24:00.000-08:00

I am officially enjoying the Christmas season, as of today really.

I have come out of the funk I've been in for a couple of weeks.
I enjoy taking off my glasses and gazing at our beautifully lit, blurry Christmas tree.
My kitchen is clean...and therefore ready to be destroyed by the upcoming candy-making extravaganza.
(I have made peace with the only-baking, no-other-sort-of-presents fact of life that is this Christmas.)
With class being over (TOMORROW!), I am no longer forced to think of my daughter's naptime as gold (and today enjoyed her awake time much more than her sleepy time; this could, and maybe should, be a post in and of itself).

Speaking of the daughter, I went ahead and broke down and took her to the doc today for MORE antibiotics; I gave her one dose, and she is already acting more her normal, cheerful self. I spent a bit of time looking up "tubes in ears" surgery, etc., this evening and am feeling better about it (since I know the ENT that we're seeing next week is going to tell me she needs them). I still don't like the idea of the forced unconsciousness of my 18-month-old, but I LOVE the idea of her not being sick and hurting anymore.

This evening I spent a good half hour reading the Williams-Sonoma Christmas cataglog. WHOA. I want everything, please. Thank you. (Everything except the $495 5-ounce jar of select caviar. Has anyone ever eaten caviar? Is it really so good?)

Another thing I'm enjoying: the fact that Collin's office hours stop after TOMORROW(!), and we will see him before 6 o'clock every weeknight.

I am not enjoying the fact that we loaned out our Christmas Vacation video. HOWEVER, I am enjoying the fact that friends who'd never seen this treasured movie are enjoying it perhaps as I write. So that cancels that out, doesn't it?

Yes, I am excited about Christmas, and Christmases to come...with our growing family. Our "girls." That sounds so strange still. I am thankful for today and for God's many blessings. I am sad for loved ones who are hurting and praying for them this Christmas. I am sad for the many people who are not joyful this Christmas, who do not find hope in its meaning, for any number of reasons. I fall short in service to my neighbor and in reaching out where love is desperately needed. That is sad. But there is light. And thankfully, my falling short doesn't keep God from doing his business of shedding that light and offering hope and working miracles.

Cards

2010-11-30T11:08:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving was good. It started off a bit rough, with a rough conversation, but the conversation turned out to be a blessing to all involved, and we had a marvelous holiday: me in the kitchen mostly, and Collin working on his car with his dad. (I'm so glad he has a hobby other than reading stats and psych books/articles.)

I have some pictures I will post below of Thanksgiving, but now it's Christmastime, seeing as Advent has begun and the Christmas tree is erected and decorated in true family form, and I want to post a couple of thoughts smooshing my brain. (These thoughts were already smooshing my brain, but thanks to awesome friend's blog post, they're at the forefront right at this moment.)

To send or not to send a Christmas card this year?

Every time I think about sending a Christmas card, I get tense, and I stress out...but I also really want to do it. Why? I'm not sure my motivations are sound. The stressers usually include: Do we even have money for this? But I love getting Christmas cards, and what if no one sends me one? (Note: poor motivation.) But I don't have time for that. I'll have to gather all those addresses (because I will NEVER have them in one place), and what if I miss someone, which I'll surely do, and do I send them to church friends, because there are so many, but they're my best friends, and do I find a picture we've already taken (is there one?!), or do I stress about getting a new one? Oh...WHEN am I going to get this done?!

Time. Out.

Do I even have to send a Christmas card? And if I do, does it HAVE to have a picture? The thought of not sending a Christmas card simultaneously makes me sad and relaxed. I just don't know. I DO want to send one, because it seems fun, and I haven't done it since the baby was born, but apparently it isn't fun for me? I do want to receive them from friends, but is that my motivation? And is that okay?

All to say, I would love your thoughts on the Christmas-card-sending experience.

Second: I am considering only giving candies as presents this year. (I would make them, of course. Every year we received these particular candies from our neighbors the Sights, and every year I couldn't wait until they arrived. They were and remain my favorite Chrismtas candy...and they're not really even a "Christmas" candy.) But as I sat and made my list of whom I would send them to, I couldn't help but worry that most people receiving them will be displeased not to have received a "real" present this year.

I'm certain this isn't the case...because that even looks ugly. There is no way my family, or Collin's, with maybe the exception of teenagers, will be upset receiving candies from us. But I keep worrying that they will.

JESUS SAYS NOT TO WORRY, MEGHAN. I know, I know. And I tell my husband this very truth often. I guess the tides have turned.

Oooooooh, side note...the bread in my bread machine is starting to smell gooooood.

Okay, that's enough for now. Here are the Thanksgiving pics. I was in charge of two types of potatoes, cranberry relish (which I forgot to add pecans to, oops!) and a pie. My first homemade pie crust. A semi-success. It needed lard.

Sweet girl with runny nose.

Candied "yams." (What is a yam?)

Nom nom nom...

Pie crust. (Collin every so kindly remarked, "Meghan, I believe this particular crimped area doesn't look as well crimped as the rest," then smirked when I gasped. I was a woman on the edge. Good thing he was kidding.)

Frozen Meals: Homemade Version

2010-11-16T18:47:00.000-08:00

I've been doing what I can to save money in the food department - since we're rebudgeting and cutting everywhere. Fun!

Actually, it is. It's like a game. My dear friend Jessie loaned me a book called Miserly Moms that has given me a lot of great ideas (as has Jessie), and I've gleaned what I can from a number of other friends as well. What I've learned so far? I can save a LOT more money than I thought.

For example, after my first round of grocery shopping to get started with this new "system," I've spent around $60 per week on groceries for a family of four (including house items like laundry deterrgent, diapers for baby, etc.). Incredible. I shudder to think of the money I've wasted over the years. I could have invested and been rich!

So, what am I doing (for starters)? Buying meat in bulk and making my own chicken broth and bread (Collin eats a LOT of bread), and eating vegetarian at least twice a week, and using less meat in meals in general (most of the time). It's amazing how simple it is.

First, I sat down and made a list of all the meals that I like to cook and that I can cook fairly easily (with "normal" ingredients). I came up with just under 40. Then I posted the list (organized into groups like beef, chicken, soup, vegetarian, etc.) on the fridge.

Second, I created a menu for the week to come. This was a Sunday night. It really didn't take long, and I can't believe I've not done this before. I posted this list on the fridge too.

The first thing I did was cook a whole chicken - the meat of which I'm still using (two weeks later) - then made broth out of the carcass and saved it in 2-cup portions in the freezer. By making meals that I can freeze half of, we practically cut our weekly budget in half. And I don't have to cook as much! Though I do love to cook, I also love the idea of only having to slice an avocado and some tomato from our dwindling garden while I throw my frozen pan of enchiladas in the oven. They're still homeade, and I don't have to spend an extra 45 minutes in the kitchen.

As far as non-dinner things go, Drue eats meat and cheese and fruit. I keep at least a box of some type of cracker around for snacks. She also loves my egg salad, which I've been making a huge batch of each week and eating on bread for lunch. Collin's lunches are fairly simple as well: a turkey sandwich and an apple with a bag of peanuts and Cheerios for a snack.

Breakfasts are PB toast for me and Drue and Grape Nuts and yogurt for Collin (Drue loves yogurt to). I've found a recipe for homeade Grape Nuts, which should save us some dough. And I'm really enjoying baking bread each week. Buy one cheap bag of flour and a jar of yeast, and you've got bread for weeks!

Fun times in the Barnes Kitchen.

Awkward Moment

2010-07-23T11:56:00.001-07:00

The bear and I went to the mall today with some of my girlfriends and their kiddos. We got to the mall early because sunshine was having the most clingy, whiney morning of the century. She followed me around whining for over an hour, so we left an hour earlier than we usually do for our mall play date.

We pulled up just before 10:00, and we took a tour with the Mall Walkers before settling into the play area. My friends weren't there yet, but there were a couple other moms there, so I chatted it up with one of them whose four-year-old couldn't get enough of Drue. The mom was concerned that I was annoyed, but I tried to assure her I wasn't. (I was a little. A very little.)

Another mom came into the play area and sort of joined our conversation. Then when the first mom left, the other sat with me and continued talking. I'm fine with that. I've always loved talking to strangers. She was kind. She gave Drue a ball to play with, and Drue was having a blast. Where it got awkward was when this mom started disciplining all the children in the play area.

OK, let me not exaggerate. This mom was simply concerned for good behavior. But when another little girl smacked Drue, this mom started talking very loudly so that the other mother could hear: "That little girl just hit your daughter. Did you see that? She just hit her in the face? Why would she do that?"

OK. This made me nervous. In my head I'm thinking, Shut up! Don't you know the othe mom can hear you? How embarrassing. This isn't that big a deal. They're tiny little people. Drue's not even that upset.

But I went back and kept smiling and let her talk and acted like everything was good, because generally it was. Then out of the blue (and I mean out of the blue; we were talking about something else entirely, and she just changed the subject with this), the woman started, in her own way, trying to witness to me. At this point she'd already praised my daughter and asked me, "Do you take her to church? Is she around other children?" to which I'd responded, "Why yes." But now she tells me a story of answered prayer and I feel like she is just wanting to make sure I'm a Christian, because if I'm not, she's going to share the gospel with me right this second.

OK. This makes me feel a number of emotions, two of which are guilt and annoyance.

A little time passes, and I get ready to leave because my friends aren't there yet, and Drue is hungry and getting tired, but then my friends show up, so I come back and give Drue a banana in the play area (against the rules!), and this mom is so happy I've come back, or so it seems by her smile and the way she greets me.

But uh oh. The same little girl who hit Drue the first time (she had actually done it twice at this point) hit Drue again. And again, I didn't see it. And again, when I did look over, Drue wasn't that upset. But the only reason I did look over was because when it happened, the lady got up, rushed to the scene of the crime and started scolding the mom whose daughter hit mine. I am not kidding: scolding. Loudly.

The poor other mom tried to keep this mom from disciplining her daughter and rushed her over to me and Drue to apologize. The whole time I'm hoping she doesn't think I'm with the mom who just yelled at her. We told the little girl we forgave her, and I told the mom she was sweet to do that. That it wasn't the end of the world. (She was upset.)

I didn't say anything to the scolding mom, but when she started telling other children they needed to say please and, specifically, telling my friends that they needed to discipline their children for playing too rough or taking the ball that Drue was supposed to be playing with, I was out of there. In fact, two out of the four of us were out of there. We'd been there long enough, so it was all good. But I'm writing all of this because I'm curious: how would you have handled the situation?

My Life

2010-07-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Blah. Too busy to post. Every day I think of something I want to write about on this here blog, and every day I'm too busy or tired of the computer to write it.

Gotta go clean a poopie diaper.

P.S. This doesn't mean I'm quitting writing. By no means.

I Should Blog; I Haven't Blogged In Days

2010-07-07T18:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my ONE shot at talking PW with my students (that's "professional writing" to all you ignoramuses). I have been laboring over what to talk about. How does one boil an entire major into one barely-introductory lecture?

I've been talking on basic story forms and formats. How to write a basic news story, a feature story, a piece for broadcast, a blog, a piece for the web. How to write a lead/lede, a headline, a summary. How to think like a "backpack journalist" (i.e., a journalist with lots of tricks up her sleeve; i.e., a journalist who can look at a body of information, including words, video, photos, etc., and decide how best to communicate the story). So I thought: I'll boil it down to the five modes of discourse.

From fastest to slowest they are: narrative summary, dramatic action, dialogue, description and exposition.

So tomorrow morning at 8:30 I'll be talking about these, albeit briefly, and my students will probably (all but three of them) be snoozing. Actually, no, I won't stand for that. This is PW Day. The ONE PW Day. I will walk around the room and pound desks with my fists if there are heads dropped.

Still, with such a great major that encompasses so much, talking about the five modes of discourse does sound kind of lame, doesn't it?

P.S. Nobody does exposition better than Arrested Development narrator, Ron Howard.

Me Versus Chocolate: Me Wins

2010-07-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

The cupcakes were a hit, and I hope so because they take a lot of prep. A lot of prep for me, that is. Here are a few photos along my journey. And by the way, these are Martha Stewart cupcakes, so you can expect the best.

First, the cupcakes, which are Devil's Food made with a cocoa solution (I like to call it that), butter, white sugar, eggs, sour cream, flour, the usual powder and soda, vanilla, salt and love.

I started making a mess early...

...but found time to clean between majors. For example, I made the cocoa solution first (hot water whisked with cocoa powder), got the butter and sugar melting...

...then cleaned up what I'd messed up to that point.

Once the butter-sugar mix is melted (yum)...

...you drink it all. Just kidding. You dump it in a mixing bowl and beat on medium-low speed until cooled (4-6 minutes). Oooooh, the smell. Reminds me of the movies, all that butter.

While that's mixing, put together your dry mix and measure out a cup of room-temperature sour cream. Oh, your 4 eggs should be sitting out too. Room temperature, people. Aaaand the oven is pre-heating to something. ;)

Once the mixture is cooled, mix in 1 heaping Tbsp vanilla and one egg at a time, each until combined. Then the cocoa solution. Mmm... Love watching it swirl together. Wish I had a pic.

Turn the beating speed to low and mix in half the dry mix, the sour cream, and the rest of the dry mix, each until combined. Then pour that yummy mixture into 32 lined muffin tins and eat at least a quarter cup yourself before washing out the mixing bowl. (Fill each cup 3/4 full.)

They'll turn out like this. (Can you tell I had too much fun taking pictures?)

I was lucky enough to be gifted with three wire cooling racks when we married. I love them and use them often. Once the cupcakes have entirely cooled, you can start thinking about making the ganache frosting. Then you can start making it.

Pour a pound or so of yummy chocolate into a heat-proof bowl.

Heat lots of heavy whipping cream and a quarter cup ligh corn syrup over med-high heat until just simmering and poor the mixture over the chocolate (whilst singing, "There is no life I know that compares with pure imagination...")...

...and stir...

...(you're walking into the candy room, the chimes are chiming)...

...(you're walking the steps with Willy Wonka and just about to crunch into a lemon flower cup)...

...(aaaaaand, chocolate river).

"Do not over stir."

Unfortunately, I tried frosting the cakes too early. This was was a bit runny. But still delicious.

A couple more runs of cooling and stirring, and we were ready.

Pure deliciousness.

I had a lot of fun dipping the cakes into a bowl of chocolate, colored sprinkles. They didn't cover entirely but with the swirls of frosting. Delightful.

Now if only I'd taken them to a party of youths instead of a party of adults. They would have been eaten. (I think we brought at least a dozen back home, AFTER leaving at least a dozen at the party.) Ah well. More for me!

Oh, Pork Tenderloin, How You Frustrate Me

2010-06-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

I have never met a pork tenderloin that I could cook. I can marinate the heck out of a pork tenderloin. I can season a pork tenderloin with my fabulous, secret peppery rub. I can eat April Spencer's pork tenderloin awesomeness until I'm ill (seriously, I would eat the entire thing if there weren't other people present, wanting to experience her culinary genius as well). But I cannot cook a pork tenderloin until it's done all the way through!

I thought tonight was going to be different. I thought tonight, I had it. But I didn't. And do you know what I think it was? I didn't let it sit out a full hour and bring it entirely to room temperature before I put it in the oven. This is my Grammie's secret. Set the meat out in the roasting pan for an hour; bring it to room temperature. Pre-heat your oven to 500 degrees. Then, once it's ready, throw the meat in, turn the temperature down to 400 degrees and DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN FOR 30 MINUTES.

I open the oven 30 minutes later; the meat is not done. Depression sets in. (Not really.) No problem. I turn the oven down to 350 and bake it 10 more minutes. Now it's a little overdone but still OK. Except for one small problem: I did NOT marinate the heck out of this particular pork tenderloin. I marinated it in something that did NOT work.

Collin says it did. He liked it. He also slathered about a pound of dijon mustard on it. It was bad. I am a pork tenderloin failure. But I will keep trying! And next time I will go with the never-fail pepper rub and the ONE HOUR ON THE COUNTER approach. And it will be glorious.

The Drive

2010-06-22T17:11:00.001-07:00

I drove to Denton, Texas, today...then turned around and drove home. Why? Because it was in Denton that I realized (thanks to a Tweet and a follow-up from a friend): I am not required in Dallas until next Tuesday.

How disorganized a life does one have to lead before they find themselves two hours from home and realize, Oh! My appointment is on the 29th, not the 22nd!???

I felt foolish. In fact, I cried. But only because I'd already been crying: all the way to Texas.

Why? I'd been thinking about some things that a trusted friend recently encouraged me to write about. Well, I haven't had time to sit and write about these things (or am I just putting it off?), so since I had three hours in the car alone...what a perfect time to think about the things I am supposed to write about! Same thing, right? And the thinking, coupled with listening to a CD I used to listen to in high school, drew tears.

Good tears. Melancholy. Realization. Breakthrough! (all but that last one)

I think I was due a good cry. I haven't cried in a while. It reminded me of when I was pregnant and such a blubberbutt. Poor Collin. I hope next time I'm pregant my hormones treat us both a little better. But I digress.

I would write more about what I was crying about, but who wants to read that? Instead, I will recount a story (that has nothing to do with today)...

There once was a girl named Meggo who didn't know how to tell whether her dreams were real life things that had happened or just dreams, and so one night when she had a dream that her grandparents took her to an outdoor circus that provided all-you-can-eat fried shrimp, which she had never eaten before, and this other little girl, who was also with Meggo's grandparents, ate all the shrimp so that Meggo could have none, Meggo wondered whether this other little girl indeed existed and was a friend of the family.

"Don't you remember?" Meggo asked her Grammie. "The little girl with the short brown hair?"

Of course Grammie didn't remember. Because the little girl with the short brown hair only existed in dreamland, as did the all-you-can-eat shrimp circus. Though that is a tasty idea.

::shudder::

Gray Day in Three

2010-06-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

1. Today I found my first, honest to goodness, no doubt about it, long, fat, wirey gray hair...right in the middle of my head and swooping across my bangs. I am officially in my 30s, people.

2. I need a new blog title and summary. I'm thinking this through but would love to know if any of you have read my blog and thought, She should really call it THIS. Man, "Remarks from the Couch" is so LAME. (But please be kind in telling me this.) I'm also considering changing up the format. It's rather trendy to have "focused" days, like She's a Maniac Mondays, Frumpy Friday, etc. Do I want to join this trend, or attempt to, or do I want to stick with my haphazard approach? As I write I'm leaning toward the latter. But I still feel like every good blog has a theme, a greater purpose than mine. Do I even have a theme? What do I want my blog to be? Why am I posting these questions going through my head that are directed at myself?

3. My students blogged today about the education history that has or has not prepared them for my news writing course. The blogs were in a way eye opening and in a way expected. Nobody feels prepared. Everyone feels overwhelmed. But even their simple, 250-word blog entries felt lazy. They were writing the first thing that came to mind; the expected thing; and not putting very much thought into it. Only maybe two of them had an original thought or story to tell. Only maybe three of them did I enjoy reading. I only hope that if they will truly focus for six and a half more weeks they will notice a great change in their knowledge and ability. And as far as grammar rules: you just learn them and move on. They become old hat. It's difficult to believe when you're a 20-year-old making 30s on quizzes and feeling utterly discouraged (becuase it's not as easy as you thought...boohoo). But if they would just look, they would see the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, I think most of them are too lazy to lift their heads.

Personally Spiced Vegetables over Potatoes

2010-06-09T17:34:00.000-07:00

What you need to know and what I just realized: I have not watched television in almost two weeks. This was not a planned thing. And yes, I've watched Mary Poppins, but that's a standard in our house. I don't usually watch television during the day, so that's normal, and lately our evenings have been so busy that we just haven't turned on the tube.

Oh. I did watch a Quentin Tarantino film in two sittings. I forgot about that. Well, then I guess I'm lying. I have watched TV. Dang.

Tonight for dinner we had: everything left in the fridge, which means I chopped up some potatoes and threw them in the steamer. Boiled some carrots, boiled some brocolli (however you spell that blasted word), sauteed an onion and threw every spice we have, along with three kinds of cheese, out on the kitchen table and said, "Go for it." (We had some fun talking about the title of the dish.)

I had too many potatoes with as many onions as I could dish on top of them without feeling embarrassed (plus broc & roots) and added salt, pepper, fresh oregano, curry and garam marsala (I put these last two on just about everything). Collin dumped all the hot (temperature) spices on his, as usual. I think he likes having a runny nose at dinner. He had cottage cheese; I had cheddar. It was delish.

And now: it's time to buy some groceries, as all that's left in my kitchen is a box of spaghetti, a frozen pizza, a little bit of food for baby and milk.

Well, and coffee. Always lots of coffee.

Public Speaking

2010-06-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is day three of Writing for the Mass Media summer edition. Before I get started, let me say: my cat just threw up on the windowsill, and I cleaned it up, and now I feel nauseated. So I am writing this while trying not to throw up, in case you were wondering.

Day 1: I plugged the wrong cord into my computer and couldn't get Power Point to come up on the screen. Had to call an IT kid to come over, and he was nice enough when he said, "You need to plug this cord into your computer," pointing to the big white piece of tape over the chord that reads "Computer." I laughed and said something self-denigrating (but funny). And I moved on. But I couldn't stop "being funny." It's like when I go to a party or some other social function with friends or acquaintances and "turn on." I was definitely "on" in front of the class, and unfortunately, part of that "on" involves cracking jokes. Not jokes like, "Did you ever hear the one about the..." But just being funny, or trying to. And I got some tired laughs, and I tried for the rest of the day not to think about everything I said.

Day 2: Today. I talked about the writing process and how every good writer has an approach to writing whatever it is she is writing. I made a bit of an example at one point of my work at Tate and how for eight or nine months I used checklists religiously. I had a checklist for each month and always, always made sure I had hit everything on my checklist. After that, it just came naturally. The tenth month came, and I realized that I didn't need the lists anymore. And I never missed a beat. I honestly can count on one hand the number of times I missed something I was supposed to do, probably because of my checklist legalism. Likewise, I told my students today that if they are hyper-conscious of their strategy (how they organize their material once they're through with the pre-writing phase and into the writing phase) for a time, they'll eventually just do it naturally.

Every writer has a different strategy, but every writer has, or has had, one. I once read that Stephen King gets up every morning and writes until 11:00 or 12:00...363 days a year. I've heard of another writer who writes five "good" pages a day minimum. He must hit the five or he's not finished. I know another writer who locks the door and turns off her phone when she writes, so she can focus.

These are, of course, all fiction writers and no so much strategies as they are disciplines. Media practioners, especially print journalists, whether actual print or web, have different-looking systems. They're on tighter deadlines. They have a lot of research staring them in the face, and they have to do something with it: now.

Some journalists color code their transcriptions. Some cut their notes up and put like material in envelopes. Some make bubble maps (this relates to this relates to this...).

I would argue, and did today, that no beginning writer should just write intuitively. A beginning writer does need a strategy. And that strategy should not be to get it perfect the first time. Something I struggle with.

As I told my students, let your creative self have the freedom to write crappy stuff. Then go back and fix it. And again, I have to tell myself this constantly. (Though it's different when you're writing fiction because you kind of do need to get it right, or at least close to right, the first time or, I've found, you'll never move on.)

I hope each of my students will find a writing process that works well for his or her particular strengths.

And I hope I'll get more comfortable speaking in public. Sheesh. It's difficult to get up in front of a class and talk for 50 minutes. Half of the time I feel like they're looking at me, thinking, This lady is c-razy. But they're probably just thinking, Na-na-na-na-na-na-na (think Chevy Chase in Caddyshack) I can't hear anything, I'm so tired; OMG can I just go back to bed now? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Those Peepers

2010-05-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

A year ago today, I met this little girl for the first time.

I just reread Drue's Birth Story for the first time since I wrote it. Seven pages single spaced, so I won't subject you to it. But the one thing that I wrote at the end that I said I never wanted to forget were her peepers.

We are one of those couples who sided with the the nurses, who said, "You'll want your sleep," and sent our baby to the nursery for the night. But they would wheel her back into our room every four hours to cuddle with me and eat, or try to (that took a few days to figure out), and when they did, I would shoot up in bed, pop out of my drug-induced haze, and just short of shout, with all my being, "The baby!" I was always so excited to see her; I could feel it in my toes. And when they would wheel her up, all wrapped up like a burrito and so tiny, the one thing I would notice first were her eyes. I could always tell that she had been crying, and my heart would break, but now she was still and silent, and her eyes were searching, searching, searching. She knew where she was going, and I ached to hold her. She was beautiful, perfect. A tiny, precious gift. And though I don't have the time to think of the best way to describe those peepers, know that the image is forever seered into my heart. My darling Drue, my little burrito with yearning eyes, you are loved.

And now she is one year old. We had a fantastic party today at Lions Park. I want to thank so many people...for helping, for being there, for loving our family and our dear Druebear. I was and remain humbled.

She is such a big girl now.

And after eating her Mary Poppins' hat cake, she wore her real birthday suit.

Favo(u)rites

2010-05-28T13:01:00.001-07:00

First of all, ugh. Hulu is bad. I have spent the last half hour looking at final Biggest Loser interviews. What is wrong with me?

Now down to business. Yesterday was my last day working as an editor for Tate. An author sent me flowers, the editing dept's two team leaders bought donuts and milk in my honor, everyone told stories about me, two of which I didn't remember (???) and all of which I sweat while listening to. I'm an extrovert, but I still get nervous standing in front of a room of people talking about me. I said some cheesy parting words (why?) and went to Pizza Hut with the editors, or most of them, and ate three nasty pieces of thick-crust pepperoni pizza, which were, in the words of the mother-in-law in "About a Boy", de-LISH-us!

I drove home happy, carefree, but also I'll admit a little sad. It's difficult leaving a place that I've put so much time and effort into for the last three years. I'll miss my favorite authors and work colleagues. I'll miss editing on a regular basic. But I'm even more excited about what's to come...WRITING.

My old magazine has asked me to come back on as music editor in the fall, and I was thrilled to accept. I used to run the magazine (in a manner of speaking); now I'll write for it. Less pressure, fun content, I can't wait.

I've started plotting a new novel, am thinking up feature stories I want to write. I feel invigorated. Is that cheesy?

I'm putting this class together, and it is an incredible class. I only hope at least one of my students realizes how awesome it is. The new curriculum is fun, timely, focused on multimedia, not just print journalism, and diversity... The lectures are fun and packed with great info. The assignments are good and involve current events. I have a great lab instructor working with me. I'll only be working mornings till 9:30 four days a week. Oh, and my daughter is walking...and talking and more than ever, and her first birthday is MONDAY. Could I be any happier?

One of the main focuses of the class is getting these students in the news, which, guess what? Has me focused on the news. I've been searching out great news sites and blogs, and - the point of this blog post - this is what my favorites list is looking like these days:

Pub Weekly
Paper Cuts
Broadcasting & Cable
Duh
The Bistro
OJR
Poynter
PR Week
GOOD Blog
Writers Weekly
Diversity is News
AdAge
What is your radio set to?
I'll Huff and I'l Post...

Then of course there are the celeb sites, which I hate but feel like I need to be up on. These might also include "The Daily Show" and "The Onion". And last but not least, MUSIC:

Paste
Rolling Stone
Reverb
The Music Fix
Pitchfork
NME
OklahomaROCK

Now please excuse me while I go make some spaghetti sauce and play with a delicious muffin named Drue.

Taste the Rainbow

2010-05-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

I just found out after 31 years of eating oranges that I eat them the "wrong way." How does one eat an orange? Well, this is how I do it:

I cut the orange in half.
I eat one half at a time...
First, eating around the half by pulling back the pulp with my front teeth and extracting what juice I can.
Second, squeezing the orange so that as much juice as possible comes out; and I drink it, of course, straight from the orange.
Then I change the direction of the squeeze (opposite the original squeeze) and repeat.
Lastly, I turn the ornage inside out and eat all the pulp that's left.

Done with half one.
Repeat with half two.

Collin wondered what I was doing when I handed him half an orange (we were going to share the last one). He watched me for a second and said, "What are you doing?"

"Eating an orange," I said.
He proceeded to laugh at me, and I walked him through how to eat an orange. He managed to wear most of the juice; don't ask me how. I've never made a mess like he did when eating an orange this way.

Is there any food that you eat the "wrong" or "weird" way, or am I the only weirdo out there. And has nobody else seriously ever eaten an orange this way but me?

I asked Collin the same question, and he said, "Says the girl who eats Skittles..." I'll stop there. Nobody needs to know how I eat Skittles.

New Style

2010-05-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

What I am eating: steamed potatoes and salsa verde.

What I am thinking: Well, I put in my two weeks notice today. I was nervous about it, but it went better than expected. I don't know why I expected it to go poorly. I've been an asset to the company for some time and do great work. My boss has always recognized that, as have my authors. But I was still concerned. I mean, that's a nerve wracking conversation.

Still, all is said and done. I'm heading back to journalism and relearning AP Style and the tools it takes to write a good news story. I picked up the textbook for the class I'll be teaching through and have skimmed through most of it. A very good book that I'm mostly certain my students won't read, but I'm holding out hope that they will.

More to write but no time to write...for now. I have more to accomplish in the next two weeks than I've had to accomplish in a while, so I'll have my nose in the computer screen but mostly in Word files and work emails. In the future look forward to more posts about writing, as I plan to start doing much more of it as well as teaching others about it.

I would like to also say: I may be leaving a publishing house, but I remain an editor. My freelance career is in full swing, so if you know anyone who needs an editor or writer, send them my way at MeghanBarnesEditor@gmail.com.

Car Dreaming and Confessions

2010-05-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

My commute to work three mornings a week is forty minutes long, both ways. That's an hour and twenty minutes of driving three days a week. Usually I preoccupy myself with music during this time. Sometimes with praying. Other times with talking on the phone (to my one friend who is awake that early in the morning). The last two days I have preoccupied my driving time with a new band of old (not in their twenties) dudes, who if you're really close to me you're probably tired of me talking about, called Them Crooked Vultures.

Well, I had to fess up today when I got home and saw my husband and felt guilty...

"Okay," I say out of the blue, to which he responds with a blank-faced, "Huh?" (but doesn't actually say anything).

"I've kind of been crushing on Joshua Homme," I say.

He laughs. "Yeah, well, he's a good looking dude. And he's funny."

But I don't feel any better.

"I've been, like, imagining that he falls in love with me." Realization strikes. "Oh! Not in a, you know, bad way; just in a 'I'm daydreaming that we go to a show and he sees me and falls head over heels and asks me to come up on stage and play a guitar solo with the band, super embarrassing' way."

"Oh." He's still laughing, but he's also getting something out of the refrigerator, so I can't tell if it's a "haha" laugh or a "I'm starting to feel bad" laugh, because I'm still feeling really guilty and feeling worse by the second.

"I still love you most," I say in a pathetic and pleading manner. "I've convenANted with you."

"Stop now," he says.

"But I wanted to say covnenANted," I say. "Really though, I'm sorry."

I'm not sure he liked that I'd been daydreaming about a super rockin' band, but I'm pretty sure he forgave me. Have you ever done this? When I was in the eighth grade, I had a short obsession with the band Metallica. I would be on a family vacation and have on my headphones and be listening to Master of Puppets, and I'd pretend that for some reason, Kirk Hammett (sp?) broke his arm and couldn't play in the Tulsa show, so they tried out guitarists, and I got the gig. And I'd be up on stage wailing with James Hetfield. I used to imagine I played lead guitar for The Rollins Band too. What is with me and pretending I can play guitar?

Well, it seems this blog is turning into a confessions forum. Should I be embarrassed by this?

Once upon a time, a seventh grader bought a tape entitled Nevermind.

2010-05-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

I remember the day I bought Nirvana’s ultra-classic, hello '90s album, Nevermind. I was at the mall with my friend Valerie (who is now called Val), and we were at the record store. Does any mall anywhere still have one of these fabled things? It was the upstairs record store, not the downstairs one. I lived the go to the mall and visit these two stores, especially if I had enough allowance saved up.

I was still buying tapes at this point. But I was beginning to notice those bigger-boxed things that had something new in them...called CDs maybe? I wasn't sure.

I don’t remember what Val bought that day. I want to say we were playing this game where we picked up something we’d never heard of and bought it, though I think I must have at least heard of Nirvana at this point. So it wasn’t brand new to me.

Val’s sister picked us up from the mall that day. It was raining. Her sister smoked cigarettes, and I remember asking at some point, “How does she get away with it?” And Val, or her sister, told me that the excuse is always that “My friends were smoking,” and that it works every time. I filed that one away and used it at a later date.

I think we were listening to a classic rock radio station, and I think the song about “I heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another…” was playing, but I’m not positive. If not that song, some other classic rock song. To this day, when I hear “I heard it from a friend who…” I think of Valerie.

This was a Saturday (either that or it was summer), because that night I was headed to a sleepover at my friend Carrie’s house. What a fun day! Except for the rain. Rain deeply affected my angst-ridden teenage soul.

So, we headed home. I had an alarm radio with a tape deck on my night stand, and so when I got home, as I did, I went to my room. I unwrapped my new tape and took the tape out and smelled the packaging. I hated the smell then. I would grow to love it. But then, the smell made me feel a little depressed. Don’t ask me to explain that.

At this point, I had noticed a funny smell somewhere in my room but hadn’t thought much of it. I was mostly concerned about listening to this tape, and that if my parents heard what I was about to listen to they might not like it (a preoccupation of mine: my parents - and keeping them OUT of my business), so I put the tape in and turned down the volume and listened to…Nirvana. Oh, how it rocked. Oh, how I was nervous my parents might here. Oh, how I didn’t hear my dad approaching.

He knocked on the door.

I turned off the tape.

"Yeah?”

He opened the door and gave me a strange look. “What are you doing?”

Me, probably white faced: “Nothing.”

He stared at me. “Meghan…?”

What? Oh shit. “I was just listening to this new tape I got…”

“Meghan…what’s that smell? What are you doing in here?”

At that point I was totally thrown off. My heart was pounding harder than it had been when he entered the room. What? The smell? What?

He walked toward me. “Are you smoking something?”

I’m totally flabbergasted. Actually, I don’t even fully know what he means. Smoking something?

Needless to say, that was an awkward moment, and one I will not soon forget. My dad thought I was smoking marijuana. I thought he was about to ground me for listening to Nirvana. And all the while, the lamp on my nightstand was shorting. There was a small electrical fire going on in my room.

And you know what? It smelled a little bit like the inside of a new tape.

The Goings On in the Life of a Lazy "Blogger"

2010-05-06T20:26:00.001-07:00

Things going on in my life right now:

Taking Drue to the zoo for the first time tomorrow. In the midst of planning her first birthday party. It's going to have a Mary Poppins theme, seeing as Drue's second word was "Mary Poppins" ("pop"). I went to Hobby Lobby today and bought...

1. A bright blue poster board on which I'm going to Sharpie "17 Cherry Tree Lane."
2. Pipe cleaners that will eventually be "chimney sweepers," which we'll put on the cupcakes covered in crushed Oreos.
3. A small cake tin, to help in making the Mary Poppins's HAT cake that I plan to make.
4. Dasies to go on top of that hat.
5. And I think that's all.

My mother-in-law will be making "spoons full of sugar" for the kids to eat their ice cream with and for the parents to take home. My mother is bringing plates and napikins, etc. I'm making appetizers, though one dear friend has offered to make something for me. I am probably too excited about this little girl's party.

Collin and I are watching Twin Peaks for the second time through with friends Jolly and Kyle Dixon. I'm watching episode 19 right now.

I'm working from a "new" computer (Collin's old computer), which is nice, though I typo on this keyboard more than my other keyboard.

Once again I have the urge to start writing something. Now why don't I just do it?!

There are other things, but I shouldn't write about them just yet...

Out of Town for Snow

2010-03-24T09:59:00.001-07:00

Just realized that we've hit the road just before all three (am I remembering correctly?) snow storms hit Norman this winter. We missed all of them!

I'm not complaining. (Though I do like snow when not accompanied by ice.)

More Than Anyone Wants or Needs to Know about My Days

2010-03-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

So, what are my days like? It depends on whether it's a working-at-work day or working-at-home day.

Working At Work:
I get up at 6:15 if I'm taking a shower, which is every other day, sometimes every two days (but usually every other). If it's a no-shower day I hit SNOOZE, but then I usually get up before the snooze goes off, because the alarm has done it's job, and really there's no going back once I've been startled by that blasted buzzing. Ugh.

On days that I do shower, I usually wake the baby. All the more reason not to shower.

Getting ready is a fast event. I never pick out my clothes the night before though, so the first thing I do is pick my outfit, then I do my girly getting ready stuff and head out to the kitchen to make PEANUT BUTTER TOAST, which is essential. Top with toasted flax seed, cut up some fruit if in season, and I'm ready to go. Well, that is after I snag some of Collin's coffee. He never drinks the whole pot, so I grab a cup, put it on the TV with my breakfast, take my bags to the car then come back and get dishes. Yes, I eat while driving, but I always finish my coffee before I get to the highway and then finish my toast before I'm off Highway 9 - UNLESS I got a late start and go the back route (turnpike). THEN I can be more leisurely in my eating because there's absolutely no traffic.

I work at a Christian-owned company and edit mostly Christiany books, so it helps me to listen to K-Love or to just pray on my way to work. Though I don't do this every day. At this point I've got what I need to accomplish at work that day on my mind. I create a daily goal plan for each month the first day of each month. That way if I get behind, I know exactly what I need to do to catch up. This helps me remain sane throughout the month and, I think, helps me be a better wife and mother. Because I can leave work separate from home life (in a manner of speaking).

I try, try, try NOT to spend much time on the Internet at work. This works better some days than others, but I tend to get accomplished what I need to at work, so I guess I'm pretty good at not wasting my time. I tend to arrive before 8:00 a.m., so I have a few minutes to be frivolous before actual work MUST start.

I will confess: I drink probably a pot of coffee while at work, and I only work until noon. That is not good. But I just love having that steaming cup in my hands while I'm reading. I think I need to take up herbal tea drinking. I don't know how I managed while I was pregnant.

I read between 11,000 and 20,000 words at work each day, plus answer emails, problem shoot, etc. From the first of the month through the fifteenth, I'm just reading new books. After that I'm reading new books and cleaning up last month's books' revisions and prepping books for layout. All of my work goes out at the end of each month, so the last few days are always spent tidying up my notes, etc.

I head home at noon (and HATE the drive back, whereas I quite enjoy the ride TO work), and Drue is almost always still awake, and Collin on the couch working, when I get home. I snarf some food before putting Drue down for a nap and then usually don my workout gear and do Jillian Michael's 30-day shred workout or my favorite Tate workout book: Efficiency Fitness. After that I either clean or do more work-work. Drue gets up between three and four, sometimes as late as four fifteen, and I give her, her post-nap bottle. From that point forward, it's Mommy Mode.

We go for a walk, we go run errands, we play, we read...whatever. She eats a little bite of dinner around 5:30, then she plays by herself while I cook dinner. Usually. Collin usually gets home just before or just after she goes down for the night (at 7:00 p.m. - or sometimes a little later, but NEVER later than 8:00 p.m.). We eat dinner and have a glass of wine (some nights) and watch our Netflix DVD, which is lately either Frasier or News Radio. I fit movies in there randomly. Oh, and soon we'll start Season 3 of Mad Men! CAN'T WAIT.

When Drue goes down, it's like a vacation. We love our evenings. But I love my afternoons with her too. Our nighttime routine right now consists of one last bottle, singing "Jesus Loves Me" (two verses), praying, and rocking before I put her down. Sometimes Collin will want to put her down, and I have to say no. I love it too much. He can be a part of it (and yes, I DO let him do it by himself SOMETIMES), but I love rocking her for a few minutes before she goes down, because that's the only time she REALLY cuddles with me. Like rests her head on my cuddles. And she loves it when I sing. She looks up at me, and I look down at her, and my heart melts. I've also taken to saying the same prayer every night. Don't know how it came to be:

Dear God,
Thank you for today
and for this beauuuuuuutiful baby
I pray that she sleeps tight
and dreams of Jesus, her savior
Thank you for saving us from our sins
It's in his name we pray, amen.

Work from Home Days

Ehh, they pretty much look the same. Collin gives her, her morning bottle, and we're both here for morning playtime rather than just Collin. She still has a morning nap from 9ish to 11ish. On Fridays I take her to the mall after she wakes up from her morning nap. The big kids at the mall play area love her too much. "Get OFF! Give her BREATHING ROOM!" I want to scream...but don't.

And some nights look different. Like Thursdays, when we go to small group and Drue goes down in her Pack n Play in Bunny's room. And Saturdays, when we sometimes go to the Dixons' and put her down there.

Blah blah blah...WHY am I writing all of this!?!

Abrupt Ending.

Book Worm

2010-03-11T11:42:00.001-08:00

A friend (whose blog I cannot figure out how to comment on!) recently posted about the books she's read so far in 2010. What a great idea, think I. But if I were to do that, would I include books I've edited or just books I've read for fun? Because if I include all the books I've edited, that would be a lot. And if I only include what I've read for fun, at this point we'd be down to a short list of Christian non-fiction:

Cross Talk, Emlet
Getting the Message, Doriani
Eat This Book, Peterson
Let the Reader Understand, McCartney/Clayton

The only two not-books-about-the-Bible I've read, or am reading, are:

Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking (I'm on Meats)
and
Ultra-Marathon Man, Dean Karnazes

I think Collin is "borrowing" this book from Doug, who I think loaned Collin the book a year ago. I found it on one of our bookshelves when I was completing our latest book purge. What a fascinating read. Fast paced, of course an incredible story. The guy runs all night. He sleeps while he runs! He eats large pizzas while he runs! He's insane. Right? I mean, do you have to be a little insane to run distances of 200 miles? I think so. But the prose reads as if a sane person wrote it. A thinker.

At work I've tackled Heath Sommer's latest two books, The Grand Delusion and The Human Obsession, the latter of which is still on my desk. The former should hit Amazon in August/September. Both are followups to his first, The Manufactured Identity. All are psychological thrillers with big life-question overtones, and all are fabulous. Although I have to admit, I'm going to try to get him to tweak the ending of THO juuuuust a little bit.

Well, friends, that's what I'm reading. I'd love to know your favorite book of 2010 (so far).

Baby Bag Revisited

2010-03-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

Before I get to work this morning, I have to say: in my last post I wrote "what to pack in baby's bag," but I was less than honest. I HAVE gotten better at packing her bag, but that's probably mostly because I keep it packed all the time instead of unpacking it every time I get home. The truth is, I pack way more than I should. The list is really what I need to pack, and no more, but I'm still just too sure I'll need something else, so I pack pretty much everything. Those of you who sit next to us in church and have seen my diaper bag know this and probably read my last post and thought, Liar! I wasn't lying, but what I should have said was:

What to pack in baby's bag:
1. Less than I do.

*And keep it packed instead of unpacking everytime. That's the real key to confidence in leaving the home with everything you "need" for baby.

On a side note, my new dear friend and her husband took care of Drue yesterday while we went to Dallas. (What a day.) We are so thankful to them, and Drue loves them so. But what I want to say is: well, I have to go back a ways...

Once upon a time a friend asked if I could babysit her child while she and her husband went to the symphony. Said friend left a list of things for me to do before putting baby to bed (and boy did I mess up the "brush teeth" part, because I used real toothpaste!), and I got a chuckle out of the "be sure to lotion" baby part of the note. Long story, but I used to have a thing with the word "lotion." Ask if you're interested. (It's not that interesting.) So, I hesitantly "lotioned" the baby before bed and thought, I don't think I'll ever ask anyone to do this.

Well, have a baby and your world changes...

Yesterday when I dropped Drue off, I said to Jennifer, among other things, "Oh, and there's lotion in here if you want to lotion her before you put on her jammies."

The look on her face was priceless! It was the look I would have had, had I been standing in front of my friend and she'd asked me in person to lotion her baby. Now, I wasn't ordering Jennifer to do this. I had merely packed it in case she wanted to. But still, really? I packed the baby lotion? (See former confession about baby-bag packing.)

When we got back yesterday evening, Jennifer said, among other things, "She's nice and lotioned!" And we laughed.

Following the Trend...Nah, Family Trip Time!

2010-03-09T07:56:00.001-08:00

There are lots of Day in the Life Of posts these days, and I'd like to provide my own, but before I get to that...

Last Saturday we three planned to meet friends in The Village and drive to Okarche to hit up the ever-famous Eischen's. We packed Drueby's bag, and we were off. (I'm so good at packing that bag now. It used to take me forever. I've acquired much more confidence in this area...and realize we need to take much less. That's the key.) Anyway, we drove to our friends' house and snatched up their little girl and threw her in our back seat. No, not really. We actually asked politely, "Olivia, would you like to sit in the back and entertain Drue on the way?" To which she replied happily, "Yes." And her parents gave the thumbs up, so we were off again. What an evening of driving.

Drue did well. She jibber-jabbered, and I think Olivia enjoyed herself. Collin and I enjoyed listening to the radio and watching our phones go in and out of Mountain Time. (What?) There was some Tweeting and some phone calling, and some singing, and we were there. Just before six o'clock. And it was already packed.

I had a bad feeling from the get go (assumed we wouldn't be eating fried chicken that night). We went in, and it took us a few minutes to realize that nobody seats you; you have to just hover over a table and wait for the occupants of it to finish their meal and get out of dodge. We hovered over a table that looked to be finishing up, but it turned out the people sitting there were still waiting for the table to be bussed! So I took Drue outside, and we crawled around on the cement and kept coming back to the ash pot, so we went back inside. (But while we were out there we were a hit, as usual.)

It was so loud, and Collin and Becky and Drue and I stood around the pool table, while Jolly and Maggie et al stood in this other room where they'd found out there was a line for tables. Ah, some order! Still, it was loud, so Becky and I took Drue back outside, but this time across the street and to the grass.

After a few minutes of leaving everyone else to do the dirty work (wait in line), we decided we'd be better friends and go inside. Soon after that, we (my family) decided we (Drue) probably weren't going to make it. So, we left.

On the drive home, I decided I wanted to go back a different way. I wanted to go south through El Reno. I always enjoy new sights and road trips, and I figured it wasn't to far out of the way. Collin was in the back feeding Drue, because he's a nice person, and I drove, enjoying the Oklahoma landscape. Soon we were there, and I knew Collin was hungry, so I was on the lookout for some eatery.

There was nothing.

I thought, Is El Reno anti-eating? Soon, though, we turned east, headed towrad I-40 and I thought I saw a Taco Bell. I passed it, so I turned a little late, then Collin realized it was a Taco Mayo. And right in front of us, where I'd turned, was a local Mexican restaurant called...something. I knew I'd forget!

On a whim I said, "Family adventure to authentic Mexican restaurant! (Followed by family stomach bug adventure.)" Is it really nerdy how excited I was to be doing something different? Because I was.

We jumped out of the car and grabbed Drue, hoping she wouldn't melt down before we could finish eating, and went inside like a couple of kids. We had so much fun. The food was great, which really we expected it to be (how can you go wrong with Mexican?), and it was like before we had the baby, except better, because the baby was there. And she did great. Oh, family memories...

Maybe next time I'll do a day in the life. But for now let's stick with:

Things to pack in an infant's bag:
1. 2-3 diapers
2. something to wipe baby's bum
3. a bottle and formula (if you're not nursing)
4. No toy - the keys will work just fine
5. No extra clothes - chances are she's NOT going to get so dirty I have to change her in only a few hours (but then, she's not a very drooly baby, hmm...)
6. Maybe some solids if what we're eating won't work for her
7. No everything else.

(I know that every baby is different and that these are just Drue's needs, but it's been nice for us to realize we needn't pack her whole room every time we leave the house.)

And finally, things to know about Eischen's (even though I was only there 30 min.):
1. Get there early.
2. You can order your food early so that you don't have to wait an hour AFTER sitting.
3. There is probably a line in the second room (so that you don't have to just hover).
4. Go with a smaller group of people if possible, or be willing to eat at different tables.
5. If you do hover, make sure the people sitting there aren't still waiting for their table to be bussed.
6. Don't bring a baby (for dinner) that doens't sleep well in loud public places.

The opposite of Good Mood is: Me

2010-03-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

I bought something today that I shouldn't have. A digital converter box and accompanying antenna. I bought it because really I'm ready to start having a few television stations at my command. Not because I want to watch television all the time, though I have to admit: when I sat down on the couch this evening before C got home and looked at the boxes, I thought, Will my old habits return with this thing? Will I be watching TV all the time again?

I haven't watched much TV since we were married. We had rabbit ears when rabbit ears still worked, but they didn't work well even before this whole converter thing happened. I could barely get channel 9 but of course got OETA. Which was great. I loved watching the British shows Sunday nights before bed. But then the converter thing happened, and I didn't know there was a $40 coupon, and so I missed it. And we just never got one. We just watched our Netflix, and that was fine. We've even talked about how that is fine (many times), though in the back corner of my mind I've always thought, Gee, I'd love to have one of those converters. I want to watch [insert stupid show name here]. So today, without thinking thrice, and with the thought that Collin wanted one (have no idea where that came from), I went to Walmart to get one.

I quickly found out that they don't sell them anymore. So I went to Radio Shack. They do sell them, but theirs are more expensive than Target's...but "better." And they have a payment plan when you sign up for a credit card that has no yearly fee or charges for notusing it. So really, in my mind, it's a better deal. But that's beside the point...

So, I did it. I made up a conversation in my head that C and I had never had, tricking myself (?) into believing that he, too, wanted this contraption and that the payment plan made it all OK.

Aaaaand I was wrong. Why was I wrong? Mostly because I've gotten on to C in the past for buying things, and here I am busting out way too much money on something I haven't even talked to him about. And oh yeah, that conversation? It never happened. He doesn't even want TV. He's a-okay with Netflix, and for good reason.

So we're at a crossroads. I can take it back. I really don't care that much. I don't need television. I like that my days include mostly silence or music (plus baby). I like that I'm not a slave to the tube. There's not much on worth watching anyway. But I feel embarrassed that I thought he'd be excited about it when in fact he was the opposite. And that makes me angry.

Angry and embarrassed are not a good combo.

The Politics of Drue Bear

2010-03-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

I think I've titled a blog post this before. There's a song from the '80s that's called "The Politics of Dancing." I've only heard it once, and because of that once, it occasionally hits the brainwaves but comes out as "The Politics of Drue Bear."

There is a long history of singing in our house, and this song is just one of many. We sang before Drue was born. We would get up in the morning, and each of us would have a song stuck his or her head, and fairly quickly that song would come out. Then we'd latch on to one or the other song, and that would be the song of the morning. We'd laugh and say, "We're so weird. If anyone knew we do this, they'd think we are crazy." And here I am telling you that we do this.

Now that Drue is here, and has been for nine glorious months, there's even more singing in our home. Not just in the morning but all day long, and most often the songs we sing are changed to suit whatever is going on with our baby at the time. That is, the lyrics are changed. As I write this I'm guessing that it's rather selfish of me to think only we do this. I'm guessing 95 percent of the population does this. Do you?

Regarding work, the end of February was nuts, as I thought we had a whole extra seven days. Luckily I had the bulk of my work done and just had to go through and reread and finalize my notes on first-month manuscripts, but sheesh. I was busy. Therefore, no blogging.

Regarding other things, I now have a Wednesday/Sunday subscription to The Daily Oklahoman. Why? Because I have a MA in Journalism and want to keep up with the goings on in our fair state? Because I plan to move to OKC? Because I plan to get really involved in the local community? No on all counts, friends. I want coupons. And now I've got them in my hot little hands. Granted, the dinner menu for the week has been really boring, but I've saved so much the last two weeks that we actually have enough left over from our grocery budget to go out to dinner once or twice without dipping into our entertainment fund. It is worth is, and it is fun. I never knew how fun it was keeping up with sales and coupons. I'm almost glad we don't have a printer readily available, or I'd be online spending WAY to much time digging for coupons. But you know, the first time I went to the cash register with my groceries, coupons at the ready, not only did I feel nervous; I felt guilty. How nutty is that? (And how great a use of a semicolon was that?)

So, savings are happening. Now we just have to figure out whether we want to continue to save in a much bigger way come fall or move to a little bit bigger but more expensive house. Right now it's looking like a good spring purging is at hand and we'll be staying in our tiny duplex. I think I'm okay with that. For now.

Finally, the photos I snapped earlier today. These two were too cute when I came home, all matchy matchy. Love it. And love the new couch.

P.S. I hear The Star-Spangled Banner being sung outside my window. I thought it was our neighbor, but it's happening at the softball field across the way and traveling on the wind. Not bad. Now feeling patriotic. And ready to pay bills.

Bye for now.

Word Faith Movement

2010-02-23T11:08:00.001-08:00

"I am not sick!"

I'm not a believer in the word faith movement, but I'd like to think that downing this pot of echinacea tea will keep me from getting sick. I'm not much of a tea drinker, but this isn't that bad. Maybe it's because I'm drinking it with a slice of spearmint gum.

I said slice, yes. I said it once as a joke, and my husband laughed and laughed. I've decided since to refer to sticks of gum as slices of gum.

I'll start my own word movement.

Baby, that's a goooooood chicken dish.

2010-02-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight we're having one of our favorite dishes, and one of my favorite to make because it involves the slow cooker, Chicken Curry with Peaches. I originally got it from, I think, Cooking Light (that or Taste of Home, my all-time favorite cooking magazine, though you have to really watch portion control since few of the meals are exceptionally healthy). It's amazing to me how you can take just a few ingredients and make a most delicious meal.

Chicken thighs cut up, salted and peppered.

I use real (and more) onion than the called-for 1 Tbsp dried, minced onion, and three, not two, garlic cloves. Some curry, some butter (melted), chicken broth and a half cup juice from a big can of canned peaches (which I'll add later). Mix it together and pour it over the chicken, and four hours later... Delicious food!

When the chicken is done cooking, you remove it and add a corn starch and water mixture to the broth, along with the peaches and some raisins if you want, let it heat, and THEN your done. I like to serve it over basmati rice.

Op! Baby is about to awaken, and speaking of baby, I caught her doing this today.

What's that she's doing?

Oh, just...

...watching some TV?

I'm not sure what she was seeing, but she was intently watching. I think she must be a prodigy of some sort.

Lately

2010-02-18T12:32:00.001-08:00

Roses given to me by my husband, who was given roses by co-owner of Blue Bouquet (www.bluebouquet.com), Drue Carr, upon her thirtieth birthday. I guess Drue (yes, we named our daughter after our dear and talented friend Drue) was sad that I couldn't be there and so sent Collin home with a dozen roses for me. They are dead now, but they were gorgeous.

Thanks to Brandy Criger, I now know "what not to wear" and was able to purge five bags worth of probably ten-years-old clothes. I consigned two other bags and a hanging bag full. Too many clothes? A resounding Yes.

Made these for our friends and work colleagues last Saturday. They look like a box of chocolates! And tasted even better.

I love taking her to Barnes and Noble (or any place that has a "kid zone").

And...there she is! With her princess wipes container (a favorite "toy").

Wish I had a photo of the breakfast we ate Valentine's Day morning pre-church. It involved cracking eggs over top a casserole and baking it. Man, oh man. With homemade biscuits and honey, I could eat until I'm ill.

So it looks like I found the time to post some pictures. Guess I shouldn't grumble and complain so much. ::wink::

It's 7:59 a.m.

2010-02-18T05:59:00.000-08:00

I get to work early so I can tinker around before I have to really buckle down. If I don't work at work, I will not survive the rest of my life.

I feel so busy these days. I want time to read books outside of work (more than five pages at a time). I want to upload pictures from my phone and camera and blog about the things I've taken pictures of lately. I want to have a cleaner house. I want to do more for others.

I do, do things for one other - Drueby.

I would love it if some of these schools to which Collin has applied would call him. He's worthy of an interview. I'll be honest. I'm angry that he hasn't been called. I'm angry at these people on these committees who pass over his vitae and cover letter. I'm sad when he finds out that another job that he'd applied for has been filled. Right now that's as far as my anger goes, but it's getting scary. I've said that God is going to take us right to the point of thinking Collin's going to have to work at Starbucks and THEN give him a job. Maybe that's what he really is doing. Maybe Collin will have to work at Starbucks. I need patience.

Now to work. It's 8:08. Oops!

Things I've Wanted to Blog About but Haven't Found the Time To

2010-02-12T17:56:00.001-08:00

A couple of the meals I've made recently.

The flowers I got for Valentine's Day.

The fact that my baby, as of today, is pulling up and suddenly very clingy.

Other things.

Happy Valentine weekend, friends.

Finding My Girly

2010-02-06T11:40:00.001-08:00

I spent a lot of time in Vegas walking up and down the strip, hanging out in casinos, and blowing a little bit of cash (seriously, a very little bit). On my walks I saw a lot of beautiful women dressed very fashionably. I felt out of place even when wearing my "dressy" clothes (the ONE "dressy" outfit I brought). I realized that since well before Drue was born, I haven't done much to care for my appearance. I haven't worn makeup at all; I wear my glasses daily; and I pretty much always stick with ratty old pants and nine-year-old shirts. Before I go on, let me just say:

1. I love not wearing makeup and the fact that it usually takes me fifteen minutes to get from bed to door. I do not think women need to wear makeup all the time.

2. I love glasses and have worn mine daily for months; and my husband has worn them daily since I met him.

3. Pants and tops are great. Go for it. I wear them all the time.

But I think it's time to start trying again. I know that C would like it if I wore a skirt now and then, wore makeup now and then, and generally cared about my appearance now and then. :) I think I would like it too. Actually I know I would, because yesterday when I was getting ready to take Drue to the mall for our weekly playdate (hate that word), I was getting ready and threw my hair back in a ponytail, put on some ripped jeans, sneakers, and an oversized shirt that really I should only wear when I'm pregnant. I looked in the mirror and saw what I see every day but thought, Wait a minute. Drue's not up yet; I've got at least fifteen minutes until she is. Why don't I put on something nice, throw on a little makeup, and put contacts on my eyeballs? It won't take long, and my hair is clean enough that I don't HAVE to put it back. Let's do this!

And I did. And it's funny... At first, at the mall, I thought people were looking at me because I looked stupid. Surely, I thought, everyone knows I'm just not girly, so why am I trying to be? I look stupid in makeup and have too much on. (Really I didn't at all; I had barely any on.) I was wearing a dress and had my hair pinned halfway back and just felt foolish. But then I saw myself in the reflection of a store window and thought I didn't look half bad, and it struck me: First, people are NOT looking at me; how self-centered AM I? And second, if they are looking at me, maybe it's because I look good, not bad.

From that moment on I felt really confident. Until, on the way home, I spilled a soda down the front of my dress, but that's another story. I went home and put Drue down and spent her naptime going through my closet and reorganizing - and rediscovering - my clothes. I have a good number of cute skirts, and my nice jeans actually fit. I have some really cute tops in there. Now all I have to do is shine my black boots, because today I got some new makeup and a new black cardigan from Gap (with a gift card) and a little casual dress from Old Navy, and I feel like a new me. (Hyperbole.) I even did my hair in a new style this morning - something I NEVER do. So what's an extra fifteen minutes now and then?

I think I've found my girly.

Simple Pleasures

2010-02-05T06:53:00.000-08:00

My old work colleague and friend, Emily Mo, posted something about the things in life that make her happiest. I thought that was a swell idea, so here are the things that these days bring the most joy into my heart...

When I see God at work in ours or others' lives.

Listening to good music.

Watching '90s television shows with my husband after a long day.

Good-sleep nights.

Drue giving me a smooch or laughing, or basically doing anything at all.

Reading a good book.

Yummy coffee in the morning.

Going through food magazines and cutting out recipes.

Cooking.

Saturday morning jam sessions.

Small groups.

Eating cookies

And of course, the very cliche but very real, spending time with friends. I'm an extrovert, y'all.

Bright Lights, Big City

2010-02-03T12:27:00.001-08:00

"Bright lights, big city" is what we say to our Drue when she wakes up from a nap or in the morning and squints her eyes in the new light. It's probably the cutest thing ever. But really: Bright Lights, Big City above is in reference to our trip to Vegas, baby, yeah...

My husband the rock god...outside Caesar's Palace. Maybe my favorite hotel and casino. I know it's one of the older hotels (or am guessing it is), but it is awesome. Plus, Bette Midler performed her last show their our last night there. How cool is that? (We didn't attend; way too expensive; but I hold a special place in my heart for "Wind Beneath My Wings," and all you naysayers can just put a plug in it!)

Awaiting the aforementioned "spinach and artichoke" dip. I was so hungry...and then so depressed. But that all changed when...

These "Fancy" Joes hit me the following night at Encore's Society Cafe. A very yummy twist on American cuisine, in a very posh hotel.

That's Donny and Marie in the background. The Flamingo should be the next to go after Circus Circus and The Riviera. Or are these three too "staple" to go? It's just so gross sitting there next to Caesar's and the Bellagio with its dirtiness and pinkness, etc.

Me in Paris. I played my first poker table here and lasted ten whole minutes. Impressed?

Bright Lights, Big City (Take Two)

2010-02-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

A room worth crying for?

We went to Vegas for the buffets. Especially the seafood buffet at Mandalay Bay.

My male model husband.

Our fancy dinner out.

The first time we saw the fountains at Bellagio, the music accompanying the show was L-A-M-E. The second and third times: it was one of those things where the music playing makes you feel really cool. Tell me you know what I mean. Everyone walking by has to feel cool when "Luck Be a Lady" or "Viva Las Vegas" is playing and they're standing outside the Bellagio, don't they? Maybe cool is the wrong word...???

All in all, we had a great time. We walked a lot. My hip flexors hurt a lot. My knees ached a lot. I loved having zero responsibility a lot. And now I get to see my baby again a lot. All is well.

Good morning from Las Vegas!

2010-01-28T09:39:00.000-08:00

We arrived yesterday morning. The city hadn't woken up yet. We walked into our hotel, The Rivera, and all the signs at Check-In were turned to Check Out, since nobody checks into a hotel at ten o'clock in the morning. We'd been up since 4:40 a.m. and were pretty tired but had had enough coffee over the course of the morning to keep us from sleeping. So we went to our room, ready to drop our stuff and head back out for a bit. I love hotels. They have king-sized beds and fluffy pillows and cable TV. I was psyched to find out where we'd be staying for the next four nights...

The room was AWFUL. I won't even go into detail (because I don't want to remember it), but I'll say: I cried. Yes, I cried. I didn't want to stay there AND be missing my baby for five days. No way. I asked C if he'd call the front desk and ask how canceling a reservation works (how much money we'd lose). I really wanted to go somewhere else.

He was kind enough to call and ask, and the woman on the phone told him, he hung up, then she called right back and said, Why don't you come downstairs and talk to Vera. I'm sure there's something we can do to make you a little happier.

My spirits perked. I was feeling a little guilty for not liking our room. Surely I could just ask for a few extra pillows and more bed sheets and deal. How snobby am I?! But still, I was so happy...though hesitant to believe the rooms in the hotel could get much better.

Long story semi-short, they did. Vera was as kind as can be and got us a new (recently remodeled) room for the same price, and when we arrived in the room, she called immediately and asked how we were or if they needed to upgrade us even more. I said no. "Thank you so much. This is marvelous." And it is. Snooty, spoiled Meghan got her fluffy king-sized bed with fluffy pillows and a flat-screen TV, AND a view of Trump Tower and the mountains. (Don't really care about the TT bit.)

So we settled in and went downstairs to find something to eat. We ended up playing our first slot machine together and won zero monies (but only put in one dollar). Then we went outside, where it was raining, walked across the street, and went to Circus Circus. We're in the "old" part of the strip; just down the street are the bigger, newer hotels. I'd always wanted to go into CC when I was a kid, but my parents said no, so I thought: let's do it now. It's probably just as grossish as our hotel, and we'll probably not go back again, so let's go have lunch at Circus Circus. And we did. And it was gross. :) But we'd eaten at a decent price and were ready to go back to our hotel and have a nap.

Of course, by that point I'd already called my folks to check on Drue at least three times. She's doing great, btw. Loving spending time with her grandparents. They have such a cozy home; I can't imagine her NOT enjoying herself tremendously there, even at eight months.

After a quick nap, we played a game of Arkham Horror in our room then decided to hit the town!

I would like to take a break here and note that pictures are forthcoming. They won't send from my phone to my email currently, but as soon as they do, they'll be posted! Not that they're much to look at.

As we were walking down the strip and were thankful we were wearing our tennis shoes, we talked about C.S. Lewis and his idea about hell being (to those of you who know all about this and realize I'm communicating it incorrectly, please give me a little grace here) noise...or that noise is something that works to keep us from God. We realized that we were in the midst of a lot of noise, nothing but noise. C brought up the scene in Never Ending Story (is that the right movie?) where the kid (girl?) is in a trash heap, and the witch is trying to distract her with noise. "Here, look your dolly. Oooooh, look at pretty such and such," etc. Man, I remember being scared so badly by that scene, and so I was scared when - and honestly a little peeved that - he brought it up. (I got over it.) It was a good conversation. And nice to be alone together, though I miss Drue something fierce. All this to say, I'm glad we're just visiting.

We went to the Bellagio and to Caesar's Palace, which is crazy cool (and Bette Midler is performing her last week of shows there, so all the older folks were out in droves to see her and wearing black and fur). We spent way to much money on two drinks each then made our way back to the Riviera, where we decided to eat something. So we went to the best restaurant in the hotel and ordered spinach and artichoke dip. We couldn't wait to devour it. Then it arrived, and it was this: whipped heavy whipping cream with a few vegetables. Three bites of that would've been enough for anyone, so no real dinner for us. But lots of CREAM.

This morning C's at his conference, so I just buffeted alone and am waiting a bit for the city to wake up so I can go shopping (and not buy anything). It's sunny today with a high of 59. Very nice. For breakfast I drank lots of coffee and ate: two mini waffles, eggs with peppers and ham, one biscuit and gravy, a slice of honeydew melon, and a few bites of "Mexican breakfast" (steak, potatoes, and corned beef hash). I am stuffed to the gills, but we're running low on funds, and so I know I probably won't eat again until dinner; that is, of course, unless I win big on video poker. Nickel slots, here I come!

Tales from the Kitchen

2010-01-20T17:42:00.001-08:00

I attempted Kirsten's Beef Burgundy last week, and it was a hit, though better three days after the fact. Things I learned:

1) cook the bacon until it is ALL crispy
2) salt the beef a little more
3) maybe use a touch more soy sauce

I would include a picture, but the only one I snapped didn't turn out well. My favorite part about cooking lately is cooking with wine. It makes everything taste so good and rich. I have a recipe to try later this week that involves white wine. And the best part is, you buy the cheap stuff!

I've also been enjoying my Flat Belly Diet cookbook of late. I'm not following the diet, and I'm not technically on a diet, though I pretty much always count my calories, but that's another story. Most recently C and I have come to enjoy: Chick Pea Curry with Cashews. Ooooooh, man.

Throw a dollop of Greek yogurt on a bowl full of THAT, and I'm a happy camper.

Tonight I baked homemade pizza for the first time. It was a recipe from Cooking Light, and in true Becky fashion (she's really inspired me), I modified the recipe. Instead of cumin and paprika, I used half curry/half chili powder and three quarters paprika/one quarter ground red pepper. Then, for the dough, I used mostly wheat flour and separated it into seven yummy personal pizzas instead of eight. The dough is INCREDIBLE. I also used Mozzarella instead of some other crazy cheese, though I'm sure the crazy cheese was better; I just didn't have time to get to Forward Foods.

Next time I'll probably process the diced tomatoes before simmering them. That or I'll find a way to crimp the sides of the dough so that the saucy part of the sauce doesn't fall off the pizza. Maybe corn starch? Anyway, here they are!

The Cutest Baby in the World, Subjectively Speaking

2010-01-18T18:50:00.001-08:00

I'm getting ahead at work since we're heading out of town at the end of this month. I've been too busy to blog, but here are a few recent photos of the Drueb and updates:

1) Drue is CRAWLING!
2) And I'm pretty sure she said the word cat.
3) I am loving the Efficency Fitness workout.
4) A FAVORITE Tate author is now on Twitter, per my advice. Go, Heath!
5) We are driving to Dallas tomorrow to see Bruce.

I shall post a more meaningful something soon (something regarding our favorite new meal and my most recent go at "high cooking"). In the meantime, check out these very meaningful pictures.

The Sound of Nostalgia

2010-01-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

We were given a 40th Anniversary Sound of Music DVD for Christmas. The gift was for Drue, but I've been enjoying it. The Sound of Music was the first movie my dad ever recorded on TV, and so I watched it all the time. The thing about The Sound of Music is that seemingly everyone loves it, and if they don't: they at least have a story about it. My story is that my dad recorded it first and so I watched it. My story might also be that it was the first kiss I ever saw on television, maybe ever in my life (that I noticed). Oh, and I might also note that "Climb Every Mountain" was my favorite song for a time. I'm interested to know your Sound of Music story.

I only realized when watching this time around that the TV version I'd always watched was missing a lot. (Thank goodness they edited out a lot of the original Police Academy; I would have been scarred for life had they not, but that's a different story.) Anyway, I'm just rambling. So now, for your viewing pleasure...

Peek-a-Do!

2010-01-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

I always thought the game Peek-a-Boo was boring. Why do people do that with their children? I thought, judging them mercilessly.

Well, I get it.

I get the reason for it. I get why it is fun. I do it all the time. I even have a peek-a-boo book that I like to read with Drue.

It takes actually being a parent to get a lot of the things I didn't get before.

Thank you, God, for this beautiful, learning little creature...

PEEK-A-BOO! (That's Uncle Michael.)

Oscar the Calf

2010-01-11T07:21:00.001-08:00

I'm editing a book this morning that is a study of the book of Malachi. The author has used passages in Malachi to address certain issues that the larger church doesn't seem to be getting today. It's written by a reformed minister and deals with such issues as (surprise!) predestination, marriage, and now idolatry.

So I'm thinking, regarding yesterday's post: Do I throw around the word idol too loosely? Idols are something that should be put to death. They are scary. In yesterday's post I wrote about an idol of mine, but I didn't make it clear how much I desire to put that idol to death. So I'm saying it now...and continuing to think about idols.

Do we have a healthy enough fear of the idols in our lives, or do we easily forget what a big deal they are and just say, "I have this or that idol" as if it's nothing? I fear I'm in the latter category, heading toward the former...

I find it interesting that Webster's defines the word idol as: "anything on which we set our affections: That to which we indulge in excessive and sinful attachment."

To be liked or not to be liked: that is the idol.

2010-01-10T12:17:00.000-08:00

I have an idol. I have more than one idol, but the idol I'm thinking about right now involves whether everyone on the face of the planet likes me.

Now, I care about this less than I once did. I recently advised a friend not to worry whether the man she's interested in's ex-girlfriend likes her. Who cares? I said while flicking my hand. You're not obligated to be friends with her; she's not obligated to like you.

Hypocrite.

Today when my husband said, "Not everyone is going to like you," I was faced with the tough reminder that: 1) this is true; and 2) I do still care - because I got sick to my stomach.

Let me say: I'm not delusional. I know that not EVERYONE is going to like me all the time. That's impossible. I don't even like me all the time. What bothered me about what he said is that he was referring to people whom I know and with whom I am friends.

Do people I know not like me? I thought. Probably. Ouch. Do they like me in general but sometimes not? Surely. Still ouch. But this is a truth that I need to get used to, just as I've gotten used to the fact that it's okay that my husband sometimes doesn't like me. Because he always loves me. I can't find my rest in whether so-and-so likes me. I can only find rest in the one who gives me true peace and rest.

My husband.

I'M KIDDING! To all of you who just gasped and had already opened a new window to compose an email that communicates to me just why that is so very wrong.

I still want everyone to like me...all the time. But hopefully this "need" will lessen now that I'm made even more aware of it. I suppose I can get used to my best friends not liking me now and then. After all, this has always been the case; I just hadn't thought about it much before.

The Story

2010-01-07T21:17:00.001-08:00

Little girls with names like Amity and Hailey and Reagan are sinners. And they don’t know that their names, which afford them instant popularity so long as they’re not fat, add to a level of inherent evilness. How can a name like Bunny not flip a little girl’s evil switch?

I don’t have one of these names. I have a name like Sarah or Lisa or Lenora. And I also didn’t have Guess jeans with a zipper running down the ankle or a ten-speed bicycle. I had a banana-seat bicycle with pictures of bananas on it—bananas and apples and oranges. It was blue. The bike had shiny silver handles that started at seat level and rose up about a foot before curving out into very wide grippers. “Here I come on my nerdy bicycle!” they proclaimed. Only I’d gone one step further and attached streamers to the handles, which made me even more of a target to the Peppers of the elementary school social sphere.

At the time, I’d already had my shoes removed from my feet and thrown into the muddy sinkhole on the playground. I’d already been embarrassed to tears by Jenny, who took my arm and strutted me past Jason, my heartthrob, while batting her eyes at him and then me and chanting, “Guess who has a crush on you?” I’d already been called out for cheating on a test that I wasn’t cheating on—Cherry was. So should I have known better when two of the most popular girls in my class came up to me one day and said they wanted to ride bikes home with me after school? Maybe. Instead, my heart pounded and I said excitedly, “Sure!”

I was finally going to fit in.

“Great! We’ll meet you at the bike rack after school,” they said.

Great.

It was all I could do not to run to the bike rack after school. And there they were, their bouncing curls bouncier than ever, their smiling faces smiling at me sinisterly, and maybe part of me knew it. But more likely than not, that’s just hindsight bias. We only made it halfway down the fence that bordered the school play yard before they looked at each other and took off, leaving me alone on my banana seat. At first I pedaled as fast I could to catch up. I thought it was a game. Then I knew. It wasn’t a game. I was a loser. A chubby, nerdy loser, who was never going to fit in and was never going to have the things the other girls had so that she could fit in. I road home crying.

Mom wasn’t yet working in those days, and so when I got home, she was in the backyard in the strawberry patch picking strawberries. I remember wanting to make sure I was crying when I got to her. I was going to make myself cry if I had to; I needed someone’s affection that badly. But it wasn’t difficult. I bawled before I got one word out. And Mom was sad for me, I think. I don’t remember what she said. But I do remember her wondering why I wanted to play with those girls days after they’d done that to me. She let me go but didn’t understand.

The thing is: I always come back to this story. Every time I sit down to write about my past, this is the story I start with. It’s like I can’t get past it. Every time I think about being hurt as a girl, this is the story I remember first. I’m realizing how utterly heartbreaking this was for me. I wonder what it means, if anything. I wonder where those girls are now. I wonder if they have little girls. I bet they’re sinners. That’s a joke. I know they are, because I am too, and so is my daughter. But I pray that she never treats another peer that way. I pray that she loves her neighbor as well as her enemy, and that she talks to me when she’s hurting. I don’t look forward to her crying. I don’t like it now. But crying is good…

My Blog Has A New Name

2009-11-16T13:26:00.000-08:00

Probably because I haven't blogged about my job in while but have blogged about my newest addition: Drue.

She's almost six months now and sort of sleeping through the night. She wakes up so that we'll give her, her pacifier, but then she goes right back down. But enough about her sleeping habits, for goodness' sake. Why do I always go back to that?

I am having trouble typing today. For the rest of this post I will type as I have been all day and not go back through and edit. Here goes...

I"m editin ga book for a guy in Maryland. He's payign well. This is freelance work. I've almost transcribed the entire book.

I need to get to work, so relaly this post is nothing, except to show you that I cnnot type dtoday wihtou making a million zillion typos. Aughhhh!!!!

Redundant Much?

2009-09-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize I blogged about napping in my last post. Oops. Sorry to bore the few of you who read my blog with the same topic (sort of).

Do you know what I love right now? Knee socks on my baby. You're supposed to fold the little socks over when you put them on, but I just yank 'em right up, all the way to the knee. Yep. Gooood lookin.

Little Bear, Little Bear, How You Snooze

2009-09-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

Naps. I love them. I wish I, myself could take them. I try, but I can't. Well, every couple/few weeks I get a good one in, but other than that, I just lie there, get annoyed, and get back up again. But the Bear? Oh, she naps. Unfortunately, we've gotten in the habit of appeasing the 45-minute intruder (going in and patting her and giving her a binky), so that means we have to visit her at least once (and in the afternoon at least twice) during her naptime. I keep wondering whether we need to break her of this. (We also haven't yet forced her to sleep through the night. She gets one meal in some time during the wee hours.) (Thoughts?) But she's such a good sleeper. Thank God. She goes right back down (most days) and sleeps until she's supposed to, according to the schedule I've created for us.

When I think about having a second child, I wonder: Will he or she sleep as well as Drue? Probably not.

Because Drue sleeps a lot. Sometimes I wonder if she's sleeping too much. I know that every kid needs something different. But this kid...

She needs like 16 hours.

I'm getting more into the swing of motherhood. I've realized the Bear does okay when we're out and about now. In fact, she's liking it more and more and does great in the Bjorn. I think she's going to be a thinker, like her dad. Her eyes are just brilliant. I see those wheels turning 24/7. Well, 8/7. Anyway, yesterday after her four o'clock meal, we went to Sam's straightaway. No hanging out at home. We just left. And yesterday evening was the first evening in at least two weeks that she didn't cry for over an hour. We came home and I put her in her exersaucer and I chopped up dinner (fruit salad!). Then we had some Mommy-Baby time, took a bath, got lotioned, and it was already time to eat again. No tears! I think I'm going to try it again today, and if it works again, try to make this four-thirtyish outing fairly routine.

Regarding other new things: She's found her falsetto, or something like it. This high pitch she couldn't emit before. She found it yesterday. I came home from work, and there she was hanging out with Daddy, cooing in this hilarious new voice. And she knew it was new, because she couldn't get enough of herself. She was actually entertaining herself. She was so proud.

She's smiling a lot more now too, and really, really trying to laugh. She'll bust a gut soon. It just won't quite squeak out right now.

It's like something new happens every day. I can't get enough of this Bear.

The Napping Game

2009-09-09T18:28:00.001-07:00

Dear Drue: You are to stinking cute. But when you are moody, it's annoying. Please stop that. Love, Mommy

The babe has a similar routine each day. On days that I work: up with Dad, morning nap, hang with Dad; Mom comes home and puts her down and works/does something while she takes a long afternoon nap. God answered prayer today in that she slept well; I only had to go into her room a few times, and each time she settled right back down into more sleep. Yesterday was good too. But the day before that, oh, the day before that...

I've learend that if I give in during her afternoon nap crying time and pick her up: it's over. There's no hope of her going back down, and there will be a lot of screaming. But I couldn't help but pick her up two days ago. She was doing her crying thing, and I had let her "cry it out" enough; it was time to visit her; and when I walked into her room, she was pushing up and had drool running from her lip and tears pouring from her eyes and snot dripping from her button nose, and the look on her face was perhaps the saddest, tiredest, most pathetic, adorable, sad sad saddest look I've ever seen. I didn't think about the repercussions but immdiately swooped her into my arms and almost started crying myself. Poor baby.

Am I a sucker? Perhaps. Will I be a sucker? I hope not.

Lessons in What Not to Write: No. 526: "not unexpected"

2009-08-17T11:45:00.000-07:00

I saw a tweet today that got me reeling. I am thankful it was just a tweet and not a book I'm editing. I like the person who wrote this tweet; he's a crafty guy, very good at what he does. But he could use a lesson in "writing worthiness".

Oh, twinges of hypocrisy are bubbling up. I know that very little that I write is exciting and/or worthy. Let me just say that up front. But the subject of this tweet went something like: traffic is really bad; it's not to be unexpected.

What does that sentence leave you feeling? It leaves me feeling like I just wasted time reading that sentence.

Lesson no. 1 in news writing: mans bites dog versus dog biting man. If the story isn't original, then don't write it. If your audience expects that the traffic will be bad, then they don't need to read that it was bad. And THEN be told that it is not to be unexpected. And let's not even get into the double negative issue here.

Today I published a Facebook status that admits to the world that I love to imagine myself playing lead guitar on songs that rock. I do this probably daily. Maybe a little less. Doesn't everyone do that? Anyway, that may be a stupid post; that may be something that no one wants to read; but at least it's not cheating the reader. It's giving them new news.

So, tell us something new, something truly unexpected. Make us feel. The purpose of even Twitter shouldn't be to ALONE write things like: went to the gym; went to the store; went to the gym again; played some golf; wow, it's hot; traffic is bad, but who the hell thought it wouldn't be? etc.

Or maybe that is it's purpose.

Hello!

2009-08-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the first sentence of my last blog is incorrect. My identity isn't new; it has only been added to.

I love this baby more each day. It's quite a ride. I still don't mind getting up nights, mostly because I only have to do it once now, though we're having to sort of work toward the "once." Meaning, when she wakes up at 1:30, I have to go in and pat her and put in her pacifier, then go back to bed and wait to see if she'll cry and I need to do it again...until I actually feed her at 3:00. But I think she'll start sleeping until 3:00ish without assistance soon.

I was freaking out about her schedule last week but am feeling much better, thanks to the many friends who sent me messages on FB about the topic and the husband who is more understanding than I at times deserve. Right now we're doing a morning nap and a longer afternoon nap, and she's pretty much given up a full evening nap, though she likes to doze here and there before 7:00. A bedtime routine is forming. But most importantly, I'm learning to have an open hand with it all. There are days when the "schedule" just isn't going to work "perfectly," and that's okay. Thank God.

I made it through my first month back to work, which feels great. I look forward to one book in particular next month.

I Am a Mother

2009-06-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

My identity has changed.

I've had some baby blues, but last night I had a breakthrough. I realized how bonded I'd become with the baby when I tried to feed her a bottle at 11 p.m. and wanted to cry. Let's be honest: did cry.

There's nothing wrong with bottles or formula. This is just my experience.

I also realized how much I love my baby when I went to Target to pick up some diapers and smelled them, and a huge smile crossed my face and I wanted to rush home to her.

I'm also starting to get used to being up nights. It's difficult but truly getting easier - something I hadn't thought about. I don't know why, but I honestly didn't think that this could get "normal." Thank God it does. Of course, I'm talking about one night here. We'll see if I'm spewing the same come tomorrow and the next day.

Collin has been great about bearing the load with me. We're lucky in that he doesn't have an eight-to-five, in-office job, and I have the month off, so now that I can drive, he makes sure I can get out a little. I was freaking out about him leaving during the day at first (mostly because I want to be selfish and NOT tied to my house and live the life I lived before, free as a bird), but a dear friend reminded me that who I am a wife and mother is probably much more sane than who I would be (and have been) without.

Anyway, here is our little Drue bear.

I sang "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" to her the other day while she was settling down, and I realized how much she depends on us, as we are to depend on Jesus. What a beautiful picture painted before me. Unfortunately, I forget it all too often and think I'm doing this all alone. Thank God I'm not. And thank God she's not.

"Other refuge have I none
I helpless hang on thee
Leave, oh, leave me not alone
Support and comfort me
All my trust on thee is stayed
All help from thee I bring
Cover my defensless head
In the shadow of thy wing."

Let's be honest: I had trouble not boo-hooing through this verse.

In a change of subject...
I never thought I'd have to have a c-section, especially for such a tiny thing. I took the tape off my incision today. Strange to think that's where she finally came from - after a labor to remember. I'd go back and do it again in a heartbeat.

Still getting used to this mother thing though.

"They float down here. And when you're down here, you'll float too!"

2009-05-26T17:07:00.000-07:00

I finished Jodi Picoult's The Pact this morning. I don't know what I think about the ending. The whole book was depressing. Parents who don't know their kids; kids who don't know who they are. It was well written and compelling, as usual; she's one of those who can break rules and it's OK. But the ending. Was it too quick? I like that she ended with the climax and wrapped up in an epilogue, but I felt there was one bit of information lacking.

I don't want to ruin this book for anyone, so that's all I'll say, but if you've read The Pact, did you think there was at least one bit of information lacking in the epilogue, or did you love how it was done?

My husband is finally conquering his fear of Stephen King's It. He's been afraid of the story, or the Pennywise the clown, since the movie came out on TV in 1990. He's on page 753 of the book now and loving it, which is validating to me, as it's one of my favorite books.

I would love it if he started reading fiction regularly. He's already a great idea man and has been helping me with my novel a bit (although sometimes I have to tell him to save it; the plot is the plot, and these other fantastic ideas can go into other stories), and I think his reading fiction will make for some fun conversation. Not as though we don't already have great conversation, but how cool would it be to talk about psychology, research, AND story, among other things, of course.

4:54 p.m. + 7 working days

2009-05-13T14:54:00.001-07:00

Just finished an incredibly sad and moving story about an American nurse working in Saudi Arabia. Remind me to tell you about it.

In other news: just finished the backmatter for an incredibly sad and moving story about an American nurse working in Saudi Arabia. Remind me to tell you how to get a copy of the book once it releases.

And finally: the book does has some non-sadness about it.

Awry in Arabia by Mary D. Kavanwal

Psycho Editor is Unable to See Beyond Technicalities, Becomes Depressed

2009-05-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that I often get so caught up in structure that I forget character - that, to me, structure trumps character. But this seems crazy. Could this be true?

When I've asked job candidates the question, "What makes or breaks a (fiction) book for you?" nine times out of ten the candidate's answer has been "character." And nine times out of ten I have snickered and thought, How cliche. Do you really know what you mean by that?

But the truth is: character is a fine answer. Often times whether I've liked or cared about a character was the reason I kept reading a book and didn't throw it across the room. So why do I have such trouble digging into this area when I'm editing a book? Why is it always: plot structure, holes, story questions, plates, stimulus-response, dialogue tags, etc.?

Probably because these are the things I studied in grad school. But also because these are simply the things that stick out to me.

Last month, however, I felt I did at least one of my authors a disservice by not talking character and focusing on other, what I thought were, larger issues. And maybe they were larger issues, but regardless of whether this author goes back and fixes all of her dialogue and answers or doesn't answer certain story questions, there is still the issue of, Do I really know and love these characters? What could she do to make me care about them more?

It's not as I don't have pages and pages of knowledge on this stored away as well. I just seldom bring it up. Ugh.

This month: I focus on character. I see what happens. I dig deeper. I don't forget about the rules, but I am honest about how I feel about the characters in the books I'm editing and whether they really impact the reader.

This month: I get back to work on my novel.

This month: I have a baby.

This month: Angela and I make this magazine happen.

And then I don't sleep for a while, because hey, it's May. I can't believe it's already May. I had a big realization when I left work Thursday that today it would be May. And months go fast. And at the end of this month comes new life. Whoa.

A Follow Up

2009-04-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

BACK TO HUMOROUS CREATIVE NON-FICTION:

A writer friend asked what I ended up sharing with the author whose memoir I edited and posted on earlier this month.

Had I given the book more time before posting I would have seen that there were moments of depth in the story and ultimatley a well-contructed story with a clear story arc. I spent most of my notes discussing story structure, tense, and the inclusion of a second voice. However, there was also something to be said about the at-times too intense humor toward the beginning of the book.

So I addressed where the author was pushing it; where hyperbole was too obvious; where humor could have worked better if focused differently (e.g.,not just on sex; that gets boring, is too easy, and can exude an image the author doesn't want to portray). That's not to say I don't appreciate both brokenness and redemption. I do. I read mainstream women's fiction and get a kick out of the crass humor at times. But there's no denying it can be a little...bleh. Have you SEEN SNL lately?

It was a good read, and I'm excited to look over the polished product next month.

An Awakening of the Mind

2009-04-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

A fellow editor and I were walking back to our computers after a nice walk to Homeland, and she asked, "Bruce Springsteen or Huey Lewis?" I had to go with Huey Lewis. I don't know much Springsteen but grew up with The News. Then she said, "Huey Lewis or Billy Joel?" I had to go with Billy Joel. Then somehow Phil Collins came up, and she said, "He beats 'em all!"

I realized that growing up I thought that every Phil Collins song I heard on the radio was just a Phil Collins song. I knew of a band called Gensis, didn't I? But weren't they just a side project for Phil Collins for some short period of time?

Well, no. Duh.

I then realized that I now knew that Genesis was something bigger than I'd always suspected, but that I'd still never learned much about the band. So, I finally took to Wikipedia tonight and learned about Genesis, and whoa...what a project. I had no idea. Basically every Phil Collins song I ever loved growing up (aside from "In the Air Tonight" and "Sussudio" and the song about the homeless lady) was indeed a product of Genesis. Even less did I know that Peter Gabriel (holy cow) was the original singer of this band.

I am now up to speed on Genesis, at age 30.

"If you didn't do some crying while writing this book, then the book's not done."

2009-04-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

QUESTION: Can a person write his or her autobiography or memoir (there is a distinct difference) without crying at some point?

I'm editing a memoir right now that is very well done. There are some issues to be addressed, sure. But they're all very common and easy fixes (so far), except for one...

The author is good at humor. This is a skill. This is great. I read the Table of Contents and laughed. That was good.

Yes, there are moments that the humor can be cut, when it is forced or the hyperbole is too obvious. No problem. But this is a story about brokenness and disfunction. It is the story of a mother, daughter, and daughter's daughter trio. There are some really sad truths behind the humor, and sometimes I want to cry instead of laugh, but I can't, because the author won't let me. She forces me to laugh.

Is this good? Is it okay? Will readers feel cheated, or am I just an emotional basketcase who enjoys crying too much?

I've written some of my own story, and there was a lot of crying involved in that endeavor. Perhaps I didn't see enough humor in it as I was writing; there's definitely humor there; but that wasn't the purpose of the exercise, so maybe what I'm really doing here is asking this author to do what I did. Maybe I'm being too subjective.

In conclusion, because I'm clearly failing to pull my thoughts together: I'm going to think through these things and find a cohesive way to express them to the author. Currently my note reads: "Your reader wants to feel like you’re telling the truth more often. If you didn’t do some crying while writing this book, then the book’s not done. Some of the harsh reality needs to come through; I think a person who picks up this book doesn’t want just a humor book. And a book that makes you laugh AND cry will make you all the more marketable."

Still thinking...

(Also, in case you were wondering, that's only a snippet of my thoughts-note.)

A Trip Down Memory Lane

2009-04-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8myK93FqbYc

My grandmother loved the Mills Brothers. We used to listen to their tapes in her car, and so I loved them too.

I was in an after-school program for a short time in the fifth grade, and the lady who ran the program created an Olympics event that included who could jump rope the longest, etc. One of the competitions was a dance competition. The rules were: you choreograph the dance (the first time I'd heard the word choreograph) and you choose the song. Only the song couldn't be longer than two minutes.

The movie Dirty Dancing had just come on the scene, and "I've Had the Time of My Life" had hit the radio waves big time. There were I think three of us who entered the dance competition: myself, Julie H., and Amanda R. The OBVIOUS choice was to go with "I've Had the Time of My Life," but I wanted to be original. I went with the Mills Brothers' "Opus One." Oh yeah.

So, the big day comes, and Amanda and Julie go up to do their self-choreographed dances, but the opener to the song "I've Had the Time of My Life," you'll remember, is rather long and BORING. Let's have a refresher, shall we?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH0lEVMuzzw

You'll notice that by the time the ticker hits two minutes, we're barely into the dance-worthy part of the song. (Please note I'm being sarcastic. I realize one can dance to the beginning portion of that song with much feeling and grace. However, I remember one of my competitors spent almost a full minute lying on the ground before rising in an "I've just woken up" sort of way, etc. We were in the fifth grade!)

Cut to: Meghan runs out to her starting position and busts a dance to "Opus One," a two-minute (almost exactly) song that nobody expects!

Looking back, I'm sure that all of the kids my age were laughing at me and making fun of me behind my back. "What a GEEK!" But the lady who ran the program: she loved it. I took home the cardboard gold medal. And I think I won the silver in jump roping.

All this to say, thanks Kylie for randomly getting "Glow Worm" stuck in your head today and boldly sharing with two bewildered co-workers. This has been a fun trip down memory lane.

"I can't kill anything that tickles me, Hank."

2009-03-31T18:41:00.000-07:00

Just before I got married I started watching King of the Hill on DVD. I'd watched it on Fox when I had basic cable and lived alone. When I moved in with my friends, I no longer had cable but needed to get my KOTH fix, so I started buying it. I started with season three then got seasons six and five as gifts. After we were married, I went through a phase of watching KOTH pretty much constantly (still no cable). One day my husband had had enough. He turned off the show that was playing while I washed dishes, put it in its case, and took every case of KOTH sitting around the living room and put it away.

Maybe it was just the fact that the discs were no longer readily available. Maybe I was actually tired of them and didn't realize it until he put them away. Maybe I was just taking the hint and giving him a break. But I stopped watching King of the Hill that day and haven't regularly pulled it out of its hiding place since.

Today I did. And I love it.

Feet

2009-03-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

I'm having to get up from my desk more frequently now. My feet feel burny and swollen.

P.S. I just left this up on my desktop and was going to go for a short walk around the facility when I ran into some acquisitions reps, one of whom, after a short conversation about having to get up and walk around quite a bit (prompted by the question: how are you feeling?) loaned me her footstool! I'm using it now. It is wonderful (sigh of relief).

Drue Alison Barnes

2009-03-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

We had a third ultrasound today. The doc wanted to check her kidneys. Turns out everything has matured well, and things look great. And we got this great profile picture out of it!

Found a crib and dresser/changing table. Ecstatic. This is starting to feel very real.

Iiiiiiiit's FRIDAY!

2009-03-06T14:17:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Silence.

Accomplished today:

Team meeting. Fielded general questions, mostly involving what to do when a book has gone to layout and the author sends new info, like endorsements. Everyone has a book he/she is really excited about this month. I must admit, I'm a bit jealous that Angela picked up the Solomon's wife story, but I've got two fine books to tackle, so I'm good. Very good.

Edited. Worked on a fantasy story today. Mostly honing in on dialogue tags, as the story is very well put together. Possible problem in sleeping patterns. The author might be married to the day-by-day approach, but I've just started so we'll see.

Book club. Working through and discussing Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. We read a couple of really dark chapters this week. Trying to figure out August's motivation and whether I really think the protagonist is male. (I know he is; I just can't get over the fact that it took me quite a few pages to realize he was.)

Grammar meeting. Learned something new about implied subjects and when a comma is necessary in a sentence such as, "Now, go ahead and open the book, and turn to page four." Because the subject, you, is implied for both clauses but is nowhere to be found in the sentence, the comma separating the two is acceptable, correct even. Except in this case I'd argue it is not necessary because the second clause is so short. If the sentence were to read, "Now, let's go ahead and open the book and turn to page four," no comma is necessary because the subject, us, is there, and both verbs refer back to it. But enough about that.

Magazine brainstorm. Indeed this magazine idea is starting to come to life. We're this close to settling on a name, which will help focus our communication and really let us figure out where we're going with the mag. I like the team we've put together and can't wait to see what kind of logos KP comes up with once we settle on a name. Being able to visualize it a bit better will work wonders.

Editing. Well, blogging. As soon as I hit Post, editing. Then home. Then Red Lobster. I haven't been there in years. All I remember is waiting for a table for a REALLY long time. Let's hope that isn't the case tonight.

On a personal note: Husband is sick. Baby is kicking. Stomach is rumblig. Feet are swollen. I can't wait to see dear friends tomorrow and Sunday. How I love the weekend.

Grace and Peace.

Green March

2009-03-04T12:14:00.000-08:00

Starting a new batch of books and loving every minute of it. I have a younger author this month. He's publishing his first with us, and I'm thrilled to have been assigned the book. I think we'll make a good team. He seems to have a solid understanding of what an editor and writer do, how they relate and work together. I've already got some good feedback for him and can't wait to see how this book grows. Not a bad start to a new month.

In other news: baby is growing. She now has a middle name: Alison. I'm scared to death one minute and ecstatic the next. I can't wait to gut my house in preparation and am counting down the minutes to the allotted time to do so.

I never believed "nesting" was real. It is.

Quickly!

2009-02-16T19:43:00.000-08:00

REPORT: Started writing up a handout on viewpoint today. Did not come close to finishing.

I have a lot to accomplish in the next two weeks.

WRITE UP TWO BACKMATTERS
FINISH NOTES ON 1 MS
FINISH VP HANDOUT AND SEND TO TEAM
FINISH TIM CALLAHAN'S DARK DAYS IN MORGAN COUNTY
WRITE RADIO SHOW (BREAKTHROUGH) X2
REVIEW TEAM'S BACKMATTER AND CAFs
OTHER STUFF

We're going to Dallas tomorrow. Should be interesting.

Notes

2009-02-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

ACCOMPLISHED TODAY: research; almost finished editing "take charge of your kitchen and still have a life" cook book, love it; reviewed children's backmatter; no meetings, if you can believe it.

We have a team meeting next Friday to discuss point of view. As I mentioned, it's been on my mind. I pulled out pages of old notes on the subject today. Can't wait to go back over them. I was searching through my notes because I was looking for notes on subplot and resolution. Here are a few of the ideas that came to mind:

dominant impression - every major character needs one, lest they all look/sound/feel the same

plates - these are small questions you toss up throughout the story to keep the reader engaged/worried/questioning; the key is that they all must be answered; it's the classic "gun on the mantel" issue - if there's a gun on the mantel, it's got to be used at some point; all plates should be resolved before the story climax.

subplots - these are fantastic; just make sure the reader doesn't become confused as to which is the main plotline; the first subplot usually has to do with the protagonist's inner struggle; there's usually another that the antagonist is "in charge" of; subplots should also be resolved before the story climax.

more on general story resolution and open-ended questions later...

attitude is everything

2009-02-10T18:50:00.000-08:00

need to: write thank you notes; pray more for loved ones, colleagues, and authors; read for book club; think more before responding; not concern myself so much with what was said after responding; stop eating so much sugar; register for baby stuff

thankful for: community, honesty, and openness; girlfriends; maternity clothes; my kittehs; a husband who loves me; this life in my belly

thinking about: point of view, seinfeld, how fat i'm getting, work, the future

do not like: our futon

Childhood Memories Make Meggo and Crazy Girl

2009-02-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

In 1987 I was in the third grade. I was new to Union Public Schools and attended Darnaby Elementary. I was an instant nerd, looked down upon because I didn't own Guess jeans with zippers near the ankle. I hated the third grade.

That year there was a talent show for all grades.

Mrs. Duckworth's class (that was my class) walked single file and silently into the gymnasium and sat in one long row on the white floor. I remember we were sitting just to the right of center stage and quite a few rows back. I had no idea what was going on. I don't even know if I realized we were about to witness a talent show (which I would participate in two years later as a fifth grader, lip synching to "I'm Gonna Buy Me a Dog" by the Monkeys, and again as a sixth grader, when I sang along to a tape of Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings"). I was probably too preoccupied worrying about how all the girls in my class hated me and how in the world was I going to get them to like me?

I don't remember any of the acts but one. Two sixth grade boys - one on guitar, the other I can't remember - played and sang Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart."

Whatever I had previously been preoccupied with disappeared when these two started playing. I was captivated. I'd never seen live music like this. I'd heard my dad and his brothers sing barbershop quartet. I'd heard lots of live singing, sure. But I'd not seen an electric guitar in action. I'd not realized that people performed in this way. I'm afraid I didn't even know what rock music was. I knew the Beach Boys. Well, I guess since I knew the song I knew a little something about music, but I must have just heard it on my mother's radio station one day, because what my parents really listened to the Beach Boys, the Beatles, and Kenny Rogers.

Anyway, these kids, according to my memory, were amazing. They were not lip synching. They were performing "Owner of a Lonely Heart," and they were awesome...and flawless. Again, this according to my memory. But they were.

Years later I would think about that performance and wonder, Were they really singing live? I was always still pretty certain they were, but it stuck with me. The song stuck with me. Everytime I've heard it over the years, I've thought of that talent show.

Well, recently - over Christmas - I decided I might try to find out if my memory was correct. Collin and I were home for the holidays, and I pulled out my old 1987 Darnaby Rangers yearbook (the one with the Guess symbol on the cover) and looked up the sixth grade class. I knew I would recognize at least one of the boys who sang "Owner of a Lonely Heart" because I remembered he had a specific look about him.

I found him. His name was...well, maybe I shouldn't say...but I found him. Collin was there. He looked at me like I was a little crazy and said..., "Oh." (But he has to admit that he was at least a little curious too. I mean, sixth graders rocking live? Come on.) After Christmas we came back to Norman, and some days later I looked this guy up on Facebook.

No go.

At this point I realize you probably think I'm a stalker or just nuts, but you know what? I don't really care.

So, I didn't find him, and I let it go.

Then today... I thought about the song again. I don't even remember why, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try again. So, I looked him up, and someone's picture came up that fit the description.

Dare I write this guy?

Me being me, I did, really without much thought.

Well, long story short, it was him. He had played in the 1987 talent show, and he and his friend had NOT been lip synching but had played live the previously mentioned song by Yes.

I was thrilled. He was flattered. My husband is glad I have peace. End of story.

Speaking of the Beach Boys, I was talking to my mother today about nursery colors. I told her I've been thinking purples and browns and maybe some green. She asked what shades and asked whether I have a theme in mind. I told her I don't like the brightest or darkest shades of any of those colors, so I'm thinking soft, and I have no idea about a theme. I asked her, "Do you think I should do some sort of storybook theme?" She responded, "Well, you know I'm not all cutesy [nor am I, thought daughter], so I don't know. What about the Muppets? You always loved them. You could brainwash her with the Muppets like your dad did you the Beach Boys."

I laughed. "Perfect," I wrote. "How about a Muppet mural so that every time she wakes up at night and sees the wall, she is terrified?"

Mom wrote back, "So, how about these colors: Fozzy Bear brown, Kermie green, and Miss Piggy purple."

Perfect.

Axe That Prologue!

2009-01-27T14:37:00.001-08:00

Was at dinner Sunday, and a woman across the table had just read Twin Motives, a book I edited. She loved it. I was thrilled.

My team of editors had a quick discussion last Friday about a 2,000-word piece one of my colleagues had sent around. It was the first 2,000 words of one of her mss.

What a great discussion. From 2,000 words came the topics:

When a prologue and/or epilogue is unnecessary
Viewpoint
Showing v. telling
Religiosity – when is a book over the top; how do you approach it; one way is to address character flaws as well as realistic dialogue
When a character is too perfect – what makes a good hero
Dialogue
Narrative breaks

Not only were these great topics to discuss, but I was able to see how each of my team members would have tackled the book. I was the only one who said the prologue gets the axe. And I was right.

I see more of these meetings in our team's future.

the day of the purple dress

2009-01-19T17:41:00.001-08:00

STATUS REPORT: Tired after a long day. Looking forward to moving offices Thursday. Need to do some cleanups tomorrow lest I fall too far behind on my to-do list. Losing the light at the end of this month's tunnel but know it's there. It always is.

Worked on a long MS today. It's good. I jibe with what the authors are saying. (This is nonfiction.) However, the book is 116,000 words long and needs some serious cutting. It's not been too difficult thus far. However, I feel brain cells dying daily. This baby is making me stupid. I had a lot of trouble focusing today on what, on a normal, non-pregnant day, would have been easy thinking and reading. I would have left work rejuvinated and ready to get home to one of my side reading ventures. I love to read. Instead I left work mentally exhausted. Hopefully it was but one bad day.

Bad day nothwithstanding, I still rocked that MS.

There are few things more fulfilling than making great edits on a book and knowing the author is going to put forth the effort to take his or her book to the next level. Good writers work with their editors, trust their editors. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I am saying that you should have a dialogue with me, and just as much as I should listen to you and care about your vision for your book, you should hear my vision and care about what I have to say. After all, I have your book's best interest in mind. We should work together to meet the objective of putting the best book we can on the market. That is what partnership publishing is all about, folks.

I love my job.

The Cliffhanger

2009-01-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

MORNING REPORT: Team meeting to discuss issues, questions, and exciting new ideas. Went well. Topics discussed included: title length, passive voice, how soon should dialogue show up in a novel, and cliffhangers.

One of my editors asked me today, "Do you have a particular book you could show me that does a really good job of switching scenes?"

Me: ???

Then she said, "All of my authors tend to do things like write, 'And back to such-and-such,' or 'Back in Detroit...' to denote setting or scene change."

I cringed.

"That is sad," I said.

We then got into a conversation about cliffhangers, hooks, and stopping in the middle of action at the end of a chapter. This seems obvious to me, but I guess I do run across a lack of it in books at times. Fortunately, I've not had to deal with the "Back at Sarah's house, Joni was cooking dinner when..." issue.

So, how does a writer keep the reader clear when they're switching settings a lot? Well, first, is the story structured well? But then come to mind things like: they've got good characters that the reader doesn't have trouble remembering. They have good conflict. They employ the use of narrative and chapter breaks. They end their chapters with HOOKS!

I don't know how many times I've written to an author "No hook" at the end of a chapter. I've probably written this before here, but if your character is going to bed at the end of chapter two, so is your reader. What you really want is for your reader to NEED to turn that page and read chapters three and four, etc. If you stop a chapter in the middle of a question or great action and then switch to a different setting, the reader shouldn't have as much trouble finding their way back when you come back to said conflict question later.

There's obviously more to this, but these are the first few things that come to mind.

Now to editing...

Look at that foot!

2009-01-12T17:00:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a moment. The ultrasound technician, who surely has a more professional title that I don't know, points at the screen and says, "Have any guesses?"

I knew right away. It was a girl.

"Yes. It's a girl."

Collin, from over my shoulder, practically shouts, "No way!" And tears of joy or something are running down my cheeks. I can't believe it. I'm going to be a mommy. I'm going to have a little girl.

Collin is going to be such a fantastic father, and she is going to love him so much. Her name is Drue (middle name pending). Drue Barnes. And she's a cutie pie.

The Cranberry Hook

2008-11-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

My goal today: hit goal and don't get frustrated. Don't wear my emotions on my sleeve. This is difficult when hormones are raging. I've felt a failure the past two days, but I feel more on my game today. I am referring to staff squabbles about which I can't go into detail here.

What is today's goal? To finish this adventure book, set up a couple of interviews, and either review backmatter for the books I've finished or complete another quality control review. Word total: 28,000ish.

I'm wearing my first maternity pants today. One of the women in our church kindly graced me with a tub of clothing. She's a bit smaller than me (the pants I'm wearing today probably fit her at six months and just barely fit me at twelve weeks), shorter, but I think the clothes are going to work! And they're cute. What a money-saver and a blessing.

I made a huge cranberry salad last night with the help of my darling husband. If you enjoy cranberry salad, ask me for this recipe; it is outstanding. We're having Thanksgiving at work today. The design department, illustrators, and we editors are all getting together for food and activities at lunch. Should be keen. I hope there is some leftover cranberry salad to take home (for Collin's sake...and mine). You never know. It's always either a total hit, or the group of people you try to feed it to hate cranberries/new things. I'm telling you, this is the best cranberry recipe on the planet, and it's so simple!

And it smells good when you're making it.

Back to work. Remember: if you're working on a novel, no matter the genre, work to hook your reader at the end of each chapter. If you end the chapter with the doctor coming in the room and saying, "Oh, it looks like everything is going to be fine!" your reader will put the book down frustrated and might not pick it up again. Leave the character bleeding in the hospital bed!

Tylenol Woes

2008-11-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should change the name of my blog since I haven't blogged about writing in a while. I would if I had the energy (and the whining begins). You can read at least one of my October writing blogs at: http://tatepublishingeditors.blogspot.com/

I'm lying on my couch with a pouding headache, listening to football fans shout "Boomer! Sooner!" from my not-open window (it would be so much more romantic somehow if the window were open). I hate game day traffic, but I have to admit I enjoy living this close to the stadium. I enjoy the stadium sounds. I enjoy the crowds, even though I scoff at them during the day in my scary judgmental way.

I wanted to go to the Dixons' tonight, but my headache and level of sleepy kept me from it. I am sick of being sick. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is dim. I actually threw up this week. It was the first time in over ten years that I threw up without helping myself. I don't mean to say that I've suffered bulimia. Thank God I haven't. But I have felt bad enough before that I thought physically getting sick would help, so I stuck a spoon down my throat (tmi?). This time: no spoon necessary. I was just drying my hair Tuesday morning and suddenly, oh, I'm going to toss that milk I just drank.

Since I'm having more bearable days to go along with my bad days though, I have been able to eat a better assortment of foods. For a while there it was Taco Bell grilled stuffed burritos every day. Now I can't even think about fast food without gagging. I like this particular change. What I don't like is never cooking and being so picky every day. I also can't wait to find water refreshing again.

Enough feeling sorry for myself.

I'm so excited to be back with the band. :) I started singing in church again last week and made it to practice again today. I love those guys, and I hate feeling out of the music loop. Now if only the trumpet (which is a marvelous instrument, and Wes is a genius playing it; I'm just not myself right now) would stop making me want to vomit. Soon enough!

I leave you with Halloween pics:

Collin's first jack-o-lantern. (Note the fuzzy orange precious on the left.)

You can tell who the artist is. (Hint: not me.)

My work crew. Seventeen Depps for Seventeen Editors.

P.S. I only have three books to read this month. Should make for some great edits, and I can't wait to delve in. Still, it's a short month (can't believe the holidays are here), so I'm going to have to buckle down more than usual. I'm unable to keep up with this blog the way I'd like, but (if you care) know that it's because work keeps me offline.

Crackers have become a large part of my life.

2008-09-29T19:13:00.001-07:00

I am pregnant. I have the four tests to prove it. (Not really. They're long gone.) Why did I take four tests? Well, I've never been pregnant before, so when the second line showed, but only just barely, we weren't sure. Now, I was pretty sure. I thought, there's no way a line would show if it didn't detect this crazy hormone in my body. But hubs wasn't so sure. I don't blame him. The line was really light. Oh, and I'll never forget Collin's sound when I walked into the bathroom, looked at the test, looked at him, and paused. It was a nervous sort of chuckle-choke. And he smiled.

When I took the test the following morning, the second line was still light--but darker. Yes, darker. Still, C wasn't sure. I did some reading up online that day, and I was sure. But I just had to have his agreement. Just had to. So when he went off to work that day, I went to the store, grabbed some pre-natal vitamins and another test--this one the one that reads "preganant," "not pregnant." He was up at the lab and needed a broom, so I brought him one, along with a little stick that read "pregant." He was speechless.

Why the fourth test, you wonder, if you remember my mention of it? Well, I'm just paranoid, that's all. I took another five days later because I was feeling really cra(m)ppy and not feeling sick, like I was just sure I would feel, so blah blah blah. I'm paranoid. But I'm also pregnant.

I don't know how much I should post about this--this being my editing blog and all, but I thought I'd writing something. We'll see where it goes from there. We did talk names last night. I much have spent two and a half hours in a book of names only looking at "Boys' Names" and come up with next to nothing. Girls were a different story. We've got some "working titles." We're getting there with boys. I keep gravitating to B names though, which you'd think wouldn't work since our last name is a B name, but I love me some alliteration, and if you do it well, it can be strong.

I'm not naming my child B**** just because it's alliteration, for any sickos who really think I would.

Oh, now I really want to post about names, but I fear I would only be copying my friend Courtney, who is due oddly on the same day as (insert correct pronoun here. One thing I will say is, I think I'd like to narrow it down to two per sex. That way when the baby is born, Collin can behold him or her and decide his or her name. (Let's say it's a her.) "Ah," he will say, "she is clearly Blythe." He's good at naming that way. He saw the one pound seven ounce cat I brought home and almost immediately said, "We shall call her...Marigold." And she's lived up to her name ever since.

If marigolds are a really fat flower.

Onto editing. Tomorrow marks the end of another month. I tend to blog at the end of the month. I've decided I will not stress next month no matter how much my job begs me to. Now matter how much this computer begs me to worship it, I won't. I'm thinking dialogue. It's written on my hand--the word "dialogue." I think I'm going to whip up a sheet on this most difficult concept and start a dialogue about dialogue with my department. I promise I will post it here, for those who need their word fix. Until then, thank God for Jesus, without whom I would crumble to pieces.

Chronologicalication

2008-09-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a book right now that is supposed to be a chronological study of a particular book of the Bible. Vagary!

Although the author attempts to create a chronological study, it (yes, I refuse to submit the sex of this questionable writer) fails at every turn.

The whole issue begs the question: do I have the wrong draft? Did this draft get entirely flubbed/flipped/flopped around in transmission? Perhaps this person has a computer program I've ne'er heard of.

Because it is utterly impossible that this person meant to repeat itself (there it is again) so many times, nor is is possible that this person does not see how the book is not chronological but illogical.

Unfortunatley, it is possible, because this IS the correct draft. I spoke with the author yesterday. We have work to do! But it shall be done!

"She's got some thing with her mother. It's tough."

2008-08-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

We've recently started watching Seinfeld again. (The joys of Netflix.) I realize the show is on television every day, but seeing as we don't have any sort of basic cable in our home, I've not been inundated with reruns of Seinfeld and Scrubs and Wings (yes, Wings) and Golden Girls and whatever else is constantly on the tube these days for years. This classic, hilarious, timeless show is just as good as new to me again, and I love it.

Speaking of weird. We're still finishing up Twin Peaks.

YES!

Our dear friend Kyle says there is a subplot coming that we're going to hate. I'm on the hunt for this alleged subplot but have yet to encounter it. Bring it on, David Lynch!

As for work, we've met the end of another month, and my Friday deadline looms. I've finished all first edits and am thrilled about two books this month. One a contemporary mystery, the other a textbook about God and country. Wish I could write more, but I need to finish this episode of Seinfeld and get back to work. Perhaps one day I'll be caught up.

Oh! But first, quickly, the Olympics! The one sport I cared about more than any other: the marathon. I have to say I was heartbroken when our guys came in ninth and tenth, though that was a first for USA, which is fantastic. I really wanted Hall to place. Really. But he's only 25, so there's always 2012 (and even 2016). Strange to think that far in the future.

Think I'll go for a run. Forget television!

And as for a word of writing advice: stop capitalizing everything. Writers like to capitalize things that don't need to be capitalized. Are you one of them? My advice is: get comfortable with Chicago Manual of Style's capitalization laws. That's right, I said laws. Get comfortable wih any style guide's capitalization rules, because they are all going to tell you similarly to stop capitalizing everything. It's distracting, just like italics. And who wants to distract their reader? Not me said the editor.

Nuptials

2008-07-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

Another month down, another to go. I just organized my email files. I have so many of them now. A lot of people hate Outlook. Perhaps I'm just uneducated, ignorant, not cool, but I like it! I have folders within folders and folders and more folders, adn they're all right there for me to easily behold and navigate.

I'm sure there is many an email program that allows one to do the same things, but I don't care. I like Outlook.

Until it crashes. What does it mean when a window pops up and says, "Would you like to auto archive your files?" Where do those files go?

Do you know, I don't really care.

I finished sending out all edits and clean ups today, and it felt great. I approved three proofs, which also felt great, and now I'm down to sending out final scores for the month and nitpicking with a handful of MSS that need to be ready for layout by the end of the working day tomorrow. I think I can get this done; however, I've got meetings upon meetings tomorrow. Four meetings? I think so, yes, four meetings.

I'm looking forward to next month, I think. We'll see how a full month with a regular workload goes. I'm hoping it will go well.

I'm "friends" with the new RUF intern on Facebook now. I can't wait to meet her!

What else, what else...

I am going to be 30 a week from TODAY. That is a strange pill to swallow.

Last night I went through a bunch of old grad school notes. Note about pieces I was writing; notes from class; actual old MSS; handouts. It was a lot of fun. I think I'll use a lot of this old work to craft conceptual notes for the editors on my team. I might also post them here. We shall see.

Not much else about the pub world today. I'm too happy to have a bit of a day of rest tomorrow. And then comes the new load Friday.

I also came across a bunch of old songs I used to play. Many of them I had written, and I didn't even remember them. I had a lot of songs in the early 2000s. I did a lot of writing. In fact, I found a bunch of "song doodles" in the class folders I was going through last night. I might have to rework some of those lyrics to new music (since I don't remember the old music). Might be fun. C and I have been talking about "jamming" lately. Although we always end up sitting around, working in our free time, not doing fun stuff like jamming.

Sorry so scattered. More quality blogging to follow.

No to Nuptuals!

2008-07-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

Weddings are a beautiful thing. They are a picture of Christ and the church, a great mystery. Lovely. Exciting. I cry at every wedding I attend, without fail.

We went to a beautiful wedding last weekend in fact. Kim was a beautiful, blushing bride, and I mean beautiful. Wow. It was so much fun spending time with friends I hadn't seen in a while, and I can't tell you how excited I am that one of those friends is moving back to Oklahoma.

So, weddings are great.

Not so in print.

If you are considering writing nuptuals into your novel, think long and hard before you implement them. How much of the grand event do I absolutely HAVE to include? How many details MUST be in the story? Who is my audience? What percentage of my readership will I alienate with an extravagent wedding scene? These are good questions.

Further, in evaluating the necessity of the nuptual, ask whether this is just you taking the opportunity to be "descriptive." If it is, be assured you can employ brilliant description elsewhere (or less description here). A wedding slows the pace of the story exponentially...ultimately because conflict is key. Unless there is a shooting in the middle of the wedding; unless there is something that hinders the hero, some conflict arises there, it probably doesn't need to be there. The story MUST move forward!

Reading at Home on a Friday Night

2008-07-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, when my husband and I feel like we're not being social enough for a Friday night, we just remember: we do things with friends on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays. Fridays and Saturdays are for us, for relaxing. Well, Sundays are for the real relaxing. Saturdays are for working, and tonight, Friday nights are for working. Why? This is how my day played out:

8 a.m. - Got to work an hour early. Set up shop at my desk, which involves turning on my computer then going to the cafe for coffee, coming back (checking the thermostat on the way) and hoping my computer has booted.

8-9 a.m. - Caught up on email with a couple of authors, made notes in their files, opened Pandora.com, put in my ear buds, sent out two staff emails, and got started reading. Goal for the day: at least 21,000 words.

9-10 - Got a new cup of coffee, ate a nectarine at my desk, and kept reading.

10 - Meeting with team member.

10:30-11:20 - Read like a maniac, make lots of comments, try to view minimal email.

11:20 - 3:20! - Batman: The Dark Knight (That's right: field trip...for artsy purposes.)

3:20 - 4:00 - View minimal email, answer teammate's questions about issues he's having with a couple of authors, read?

4 - 5 p.m. - Meetings!

Did I meet my reading objective? A resounding no. Will I meet it tonight? Perhaps.

The man that v. The man who

2008-07-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

I got caught up a bit more at work today. Good thing.

I've been thinking about common mistakes writers make and thought I'd address a few of those. (For those of you who read Pub Rants, yes, I'm unabashadly copying her, but this is genuinely what's on my mind.)

1) Stick to the story question(s). If you want to go of on a rant, fight the urge if that rant does not further the story. Description for description's sake does not work. It is boring, and you will lose your reader, as well as the interest of your editor. I want conflict, and I want it now, and I want to feel like I'm moving toward resolution.

2) Do not include the first description that comes to mind unless it is brilliant. Chances are, your best descriptions will take time. I've sat in front of my computer for five minutes trying to think of a way to describe a character's nose (and whether it was even worth describing). I ended up going with strawberry seeds. Stop being cliche. There are many great resources out there that discuss description, where it belongs and doesn't, etc. I'll stop there.

3) Learn the basics and copy edit your material. Don't send an agent or an editor anything less than your best work. If you're not good at syntax, have a friend who is read over your MS before you send it out (lest your work be thrown away). I'm in a different boat, as those MSS that come across my desk are contracted. But when I see five errors on page one, I cringe. Do I really have to trudge through this?

--As a side note, this may sound harsh, but I assure you: New York is harsher. And I am not even close to New York.

4) Work with your editor. When I make comments, heed them...and probably employ them. Your editor knows her stuff. She is not perfect, but she has been studying the craft since she was eighteen. She knows story and has good ideas for you. She also cares about your work.

So Busy and Still Slacking

2008-07-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

I got back from camp with the kids Sunday around midnight. I only now feel back to normal, yet I'm still tired. So is life. I have so much catching up to do at work that I'm having trouble seeing straight, yet I can't make myself dig into the book I should reading right now. It is about Richard III. It's an interesting premise...a woman looking for the "real" history of Richard III and being basically hunted down by a group of Druids. Present day. New York. New York City Public Library, which always and forever will make me think of the original Ghostbusters. I need to start writing more on this thing. Resolution: blog more. Easier said than done.

Camp was amazing. I only wish hubs had been able to go. The ocean, on a clear day, was absolutely beautiful. So much so that I couldn't drag myself out of the water. The sand was like sugar, and the sun felt so good on my skin. Until my skin broke out in hives, but that's another story (and why I did NOT come back with a tan).

Driving over 2,000 miles is difficult, but the crew I was driving was wonderful. How I love the CTK Norman kids. How I love beach games. How I love reading.

TGIF and Medical Murder Mysteries

2008-05-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

Turns out Tate is the second best place to work in Oklahoma. No joke. This has been measured, and we have literally been awarded this title.

Because of this, they gave us the afternoon off.

Of course, I'm still working. This month's schedule looks crazier than last month's. I'm reading a mystery right now (title TBD). It takes place in Hall Park, Oklahoma. That's right, written by two gentlemen who go to Norman's own Wildwood Community Church, and I have the pleasure of reading their work. It's quite good.

The thing I am most impressed with is characterization. Their characters are real from the moment you start reading. Original action. Original description. I'm helping some with logical flow of dialogue, but man oh man, this is good stuff. Very exciting and fast paced. Good work, gentlemen.

I can't wait to find out whodunit.

At Month's End

2008-04-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

Listening to: "Sonata for keyboard in D minor, K. 434 (L. 343): P.498"
(Bach Station)

Hot.

So...

I finished all of my work for the month about thirty minutes ago. The only thing I didn't do was check for commonly misused words in one of my manuscripts. I didn't do this because as I was composing an email to the author, I accidentally sent it, which meant she expected the manuscript to follow shortly. So I went ahead and just sent it, along with a complete email.

Work accomplished this month: 10 new books (359,879 words), 8 cleanups (old books moving toward layout), 10 ready for layouts (completed, filed, and moving on!)

I dare say that's pretty good work.

I am starting on a book for next month as soon as I finish this post. The authors...men from the church I used to attend in Norman. Crazy. I don't know them well; however, we did meet when they came to visit Tate. Their book (co-authored in case you didn't figure that out) is a mystery, which I'm thrilled about, as I love mysteries. So I should get started. But first...

A team of us editors ran in the OKC Marathon Relay last Sunday, and we were awesome. Granted we came in AFTER teams with names like "Eating Your Dust" and "Not Gonna Make It," but we DID finish, and as previously stated, we were awesome. Just check out Ben's get up and try to tell me we weren't.

I'm trying to get Collin excited about the "rock 'n' roll" half marathon in San Antonio in November. I think I'm really into this running thing. (Thanks be to Julie and her willingness to share her Runner magazines with me!)

Germany and Japan

2008-04-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Rhapsodies (2) for piano, Op. 79: II. Rhapsody in G Minor, Op. 79, Johannes Brahms. (Good for a rainy day.)

I've recently found that I can create composer stations on pandora.com, so I'm trying out new dudes: started with Beethoven, then Bach, then Brahms, and most recently Rachmaninoff (or Rachmaninov...which is it?!). I've never listened intently to classical music (thought about what I was listening to). I've never studied it. I still don't know much, but I think I'm picking up on simple things. The only bad thing is pandora doesn't play ONLY the composer chosen to represent the station. Still, I'm getting the general sound out of each artist, which I like. And it's great background music for the day.

I've just started my final book for the month. "I'll Never Forget You." This is the story of a young GI and a Japanese model. Love is in the air, people. I don't often read romances written by men. I'll try to remember to update.

I had my montly conceptual discussions with senior editor CW yesterday. I believe I redeemed last month's poor conceptual discussions wherein he was using me as an example of "good" conceptual discussions, and I bombed.

CDs are when I talk to CW about the books I've been editing that month. I usually try to bring two or three big ideas that I'm presenting to each writer to the table and talk about how I hope to help the author maket his or her book better. I was able to dig a little deeper with a few of my books this month, so it went well. I got to talk about dialogue structure and conflict and story arc, etc. I like talking about these things (not just redundancy and punctuation, and blah blah blah). It's easy to go into conceptuals and have critcisms, but what I think he's looking for are solutions to problems. I like being able to bring these to the table, because I have good solutions when I have the time to think about them (I give Collin the credit for teaching me to sit and really think about my work). It's just sometimes difficult when you're dealing with ten books in a really hard month.

This month has been good. I am thankful.

Back to Japan...

Deadlines

2008-02-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

Both the end of the month and the beginning of the month are difficult. I have manuscripts going out and manuscripts coming in, and getting everything situated takes a few days. Authors also call incessantly during these times. But that's okay. They usually have good questions that need good answers. I'm finding that work goes home with me at the end of the month and at the beginning of the month. Not so bad since I'm a workaholic. God made six working days and one day for rest. I can live with that, so long as I can work on the six!

I have a deadline of 115 pages tomorrow. I'm about halfway there. I finished a children's book, two juvenile books, and twelve pages of a novel about the Holy Mother today. I thought the Miriam book would be spotless, but it turns out the guy's sentence structure is a bit too fancy for its own good. Like, so fancy it doesn't even make sense fancy. So, we'll work with that.

I should get some rest.

Armageddon

2008-01-29T10:59:00.000-08:00

Currently playing on my iTunes: Manifold de Amour, Latin Playboys, Desperado Soundtrack

I am trying to finish a book about the end of days. My deadline looms (Thursday), and I just can't seem to get through it. Not that it's bad (or...). The worst thing about the book is that the author doesn't use close quotations (and sometimes periods).

Note to aspiring authors: Clean up your work. Don't submit basic errors. That is the sign of an unprofessional author.

As far as the storyline, it's going to be the new Left Behind series, or so the author thinks. And I might argue that it could be. Her characterization and description are very good. The story is solid. She sounds like she knows what she's talking about. But did you like the Left Behind series? I didn't. It was a quick read. That was about it.

Back to inserting correct punctuation.

Speed

2007-11-15T08:51:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how fast we communicate. It just hit me for some reason. I was checking icanhascheezburger.com (one of my favorite blogs...you'll find it to the right) and came across a picture I thought Courtney would appreciate. So I quickly downloaded the picture to my My Pictures file (on my new work laptop! yay!), opened up gmail and attached the picture to a note and sent it to her. This took me maybe thirty seconds.

When I was a teenager I would have had to wait until I got home for the day to call her and tell her about it. And chances would be she would never be able to see it because she probably wouldn't have the Internet. Or is she did it would take her quite some time to dial up and find the picture.

I know thousands have posed this question. But ARE we TOO in touch? Are we too spoiled. Maybe that's a better question. This is my first laptop. I don't know how I lived without laptop before. That is sad. I now carry two communication devices with me at ALL TIMES.

I guess that's why it is so important to rest Sundays. At least one day a week get away from everything. Get out of touch. Be with those you love. Take a nap. Don't turn on the television. Play your guitar. Read a book. Ahhhhh...it's wonderful just thinking about.

But I AM thoroughly enjoying my new job. Oh, how I am. I sent my first edits out to my children's book authors today. It was very exciting.

And now for that picture I wanted Courtney to see...

There are probably few of you who get this. I wouldn't have gotten it if she hadn't told me about Soylent Green. I'm LOLing just thinking about it.

The Holidays Approach

2007-10-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

On a totally unrelated note, I wish I were more humble, especially at work.