Friday, January 30, 2015


I started a secret blog so that I can write what's really on my mind.

My friend Doug once said that if everything that is really going on in our minds were played out for the world to see, like a DVD, we'd all be busted. That statement has resonated with me for nearly nine years. And so now I'm doing a little experiment.

I'm writing what is really going on in my mind, laying it out for the world to see, the good and the terribly ugly. Because I'm too scared to do that here. I'm hoping that doing this - writing about, for example, the prayers and Scripture I read to my children every day alongside how I hate my neighbor every day - will.....well, clear things up a bit? I've been feeling pretty murky lately. So maybe it's a therapy thing. Let's write about how the gospel is working amidst the sin. Let's be honest about the sin, without reveling in it, and the gospel, without creating a facade.

But here's the thing. Now that I've started writing this secret blog, I already find myself wanting people to find it and read it. Am I so arrogant? Yes, even as I am deeply insecure, I am oh so arrogant. Nonetheless, it will stay secret, and maybe people will find it and read it, and maybe not. Probably better not.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Crick in the Neck

When I have babies, I get massive neck and shoulder pain. I just complained to my five-year-old, who said, "Maybe the chiropractor doesn't help you." My answer: well, maybe. I think he does though. 

I've always been a person who god "cricks" in her neck. (Is that what everybody calls it, or just my strange family?) I missed at least one day of school because I couldn't turn my head. I've just always slept funny, I guess, and the vertebrae round my neck are my enemy.

And then when the baby comes, and the nursing begins, there's all that looking down, terrible posture, etc.

I once had a crick in my neck for nearly four months. That was the first time I tried a chiropractor. He had me coming in a couple times a week for nearly a month to get that pain gone. But it worked. It was incredible. My neck was fabulous, until now. 

So, does the chiropractic work? I think so. But it is annoying that the pain takes so much work to get rid of. And then comes back. But we'll blame the baby this time.