I started a secret blog so that I can write what's really on my mind.
My friend Doug once said that if everything that is really going on in our minds were played out for the world to see, like a DVD, we'd all be busted. That statement has resonated with me for nearly nine years. And so now I'm doing a little experiment.
I'm writing what is really going on in my mind, laying it out for the world to see, the good and the terribly ugly. Because I'm too scared to do that here. I'm hoping that doing this - writing about, for example, the prayers and Scripture I read to my children every day alongside how I hate my neighbor every day - will.....well, clear things up a bit? I've been feeling pretty murky lately. So maybe it's a therapy thing. Let's write about how the gospel is working amidst the sin. Let's be honest about the sin, without reveling in it, and the gospel, without creating a facade.
But here's the thing. Now that I've started writing this secret blog, I already find myself wanting people to find it and read it. Am I so arrogant? Yes, even as I am deeply insecure, I am oh so arrogant. Nonetheless, it will stay secret, and maybe people will find it and read it, and maybe not. Probably better not.