My Blog Has A New Name

Probably because I haven't blogged about my job in while but have blogged about my newest addition: Drue.

She's almost six months now and sort of sleeping through the night. She wakes up so that we'll give her, her pacifier, but then she goes right back down. But enough about her sleeping habits, for goodness' sake. Why do I always go back to that?

I am having trouble typing today. For the rest of this post I will type as I have been all day and not go back through and edit. Here goes...

I"m editin ga book for a guy in Maryland. He's payign well. This is freelance work. I've almost transcribed the entire book.

I need to get to work, so relaly this post is nothing, except to show you that I cnnot type dtoday wihtou making a million zillion typos. Aughhhh!!!!

Redundant Much?

I didn't realize I blogged about napping in my last post. Oops. Sorry to bore the few of you who read my blog with the same topic (sort of).

Do you know what I love right now? Knee socks on my baby. You're supposed to fold the little socks over when you put them on, but I just yank 'em right up, all the way to the knee. Yep. Gooood lookin.

Little Bear, Little Bear, How You Snooze

Naps. I love them. I wish I, myself could take them. I try, but I can't. Well, every couple/few weeks I get a good one in, but other than that, I just lie there, get annoyed, and get back up again. But the Bear? Oh, she naps. Unfortunately, we've gotten in the habit of appeasing the 45-minute intruder (going in and patting her and giving her a binky), so that means we have to visit her at least once (and in the afternoon at least twice) during her naptime. I keep wondering whether we need to break her of this. (We also haven't yet forced her to sleep through the night. She gets one meal in some time during the wee hours.) (Thoughts?) But she's such a good sleeper. Thank God. She goes right back down (most days) and sleeps until she's supposed to, according to the schedule I've created for us.

When I think about having a second child, I wonder: Will he or she sleep as well as Drue? Probably not.

Because Drue sleeps a lot. Sometimes I wonder if she's sleeping too much. I know that every kid needs something different. But this kid...

She needs like 16 hours.

I'm getting more into the swing of motherhood. I've realized the Bear does okay when we're out and about now. In fact, she's liking it more and more and does great in the Bjorn. I think she's going to be a thinker, like her dad. Her eyes are just brilliant. I see those wheels turning 24/7. Well, 8/7. Anyway, yesterday after her four o'clock meal, we went to Sam's straightaway. No hanging out at home. We just left. And yesterday evening was the first evening in at least two weeks that she didn't cry for over an hour. We came home and I put her in her exersaucer and I chopped up dinner (fruit salad!). Then we had some Mommy-Baby time, took a bath, got lotioned, and it was already time to eat again. No tears! I think I'm going to try it again today, and if it works again, try to make this four-thirtyish outing fairly routine.

Regarding other new things: She's found her falsetto, or something like it. This high pitch she couldn't emit before. She found it yesterday. I came home from work, and there she was hanging out with Daddy, cooing in this hilarious new voice. And she knew it was new, because she couldn't get enough of herself. She was actually entertaining herself. She was so proud.

She's smiling a lot more now too, and really, really trying to laugh. She'll bust a gut soon. It just won't quite squeak out right now.

It's like something new happens every day. I can't get enough of this Bear.

The Napping Game

Dear Drue: You are to stinking cute. But when you are moody, it's annoying. Please stop that. Love, Mommy

The babe has a similar routine each day. On days that I work: up with Dad, morning nap, hang with Dad; Mom comes home and puts her down and works/does something while she takes a long afternoon nap. God answered prayer today in that she slept well; I only had to go into her room a few times, and each time she settled right back down into more sleep. Yesterday was good too. But the day before that, oh, the day before that...

I've learend that if I give in during her afternoon nap crying time and pick her up: it's over. There's no hope of her going back down, and there will be a lot of screaming. But I couldn't help but pick her up two days ago. She was doing her crying thing, and I had let her "cry it out" enough; it was time to visit her; and when I walked into her room, she was pushing up and had drool running from her lip and tears pouring from her eyes and snot dripping from her button nose, and the look on her face was perhaps the saddest, tiredest, most pathetic, adorable, sad sad saddest look I've ever seen. I didn't think about the repercussions but immdiately swooped her into my arms and almost started crying myself. Poor baby.

Am I a sucker? Perhaps. Will I be a sucker? I hope not.

Lessons in What Not to Write: No. 526: "not unexpected"

I saw a tweet today that got me reeling. I am thankful it was just a tweet and not a book I'm editing. I like the person who wrote this tweet; he's a crafty guy, very good at what he does. But he could use a lesson in "writing worthiness".

Oh, twinges of hypocrisy are bubbling up. I know that very little that I write is exciting and/or worthy. Let me just say that up front. But the subject of this tweet went something like: traffic is really bad; it's not to be unexpected.

What does that sentence leave you feeling? It leaves me feeling like I just wasted time reading that sentence.

Lesson no. 1 in news writing: mans bites dog versus dog biting man. If the story isn't original, then don't write it. If your audience expects that the traffic will be bad, then they don't need to read that it was bad. And THEN be told that it is not to be unexpected. And let's not even get into the double negative issue here.

Today I published a Facebook status that admits to the world that I love to imagine myself playing lead guitar on songs that rock. I do this probably daily. Maybe a little less. Doesn't everyone do that? Anyway, that may be a stupid post; that may be something that no one wants to read; but at least it's not cheating the reader. It's giving them new news.

So, tell us something new, something truly unexpected. Make us feel. The purpose of even Twitter shouldn't be to ALONE write things like: went to the gym; went to the store; went to the gym again; played some golf; wow, it's hot; traffic is bad, but who the hell thought it wouldn't be? etc.

Or maybe that is it's purpose.

Hello!

Well, the first sentence of my last blog is incorrect. My identity isn't new; it has only been added to.

I love this baby more each day. It's quite a ride. I still don't mind getting up nights, mostly because I only have to do it once now, though we're having to sort of work toward the "once." Meaning, when she wakes up at 1:30, I have to go in and pat her and put in her pacifier, then go back to bed and wait to see if she'll cry and I need to do it again...until I actually feed her at 3:00. But I think she'll start sleeping until 3:00ish without assistance soon.

I was freaking out about her schedule last week but am feeling much better, thanks to the many friends who sent me messages on FB about the topic and the husband who is more understanding than I at times deserve. Right now we're doing a morning nap and a longer afternoon nap, and she's pretty much given up a full evening nap, though she likes to doze here and there before 7:00. A bedtime routine is forming. But most importantly, I'm learning to have an open hand with it all. There are days when the "schedule" just isn't going to work "perfectly," and that's okay. Thank God.

I made it through my first month back to work, which feels great. I look forward to one book in particular next month.

I Am a Mother

My identity has changed.

I've had some baby blues, but last night I had a breakthrough. I realized how bonded I'd become with the baby when I tried to feed her a bottle at 11 p.m. and wanted to cry. Let's be honest: did cry.

There's nothing wrong with bottles or formula. This is just my experience.

I also realized how much I love my baby when I went to Target to pick up some diapers and smelled them, and a huge smile crossed my face and I wanted to rush home to her.

I'm also starting to get used to being up nights. It's difficult but truly getting easier - something I hadn't thought about. I don't know why, but I honestly didn't think that this could get "normal." Thank God it does. Of course, I'm talking about one night here. We'll see if I'm spewing the same come tomorrow and the next day.

Collin has been great about bearing the load with me. We're lucky in that he doesn't have an eight-to-five, in-office job, and I have the month off, so now that I can drive, he makes sure I can get out a little. I was freaking out about him leaving during the day at first (mostly because I want to be selfish and NOT tied to my house and live the life I lived before, free as a bird), but a dear friend reminded me that who I am a wife and mother is probably much more sane than who I would be (and have been) without.

Anyway, here is our little Drue bear.


I sang "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" to her the other day while she was settling down, and I realized how much she depends on us, as we are to depend on Jesus. What a beautiful picture painted before me. Unfortunately, I forget it all too often and think I'm doing this all alone. Thank God I'm not. And thank God she's not.

"Other refuge have I none
I helpless hang on thee
Leave, oh, leave me not alone
Support and comfort me
All my trust on thee is stayed
All help from thee I bring
Cover my defensless head
In the shadow of thy wing."

Let's be honest: I had trouble not boo-hooing through this verse.

In a change of subject...
I never thought I'd have to have a c-section, especially for such a tiny thing. I took the tape off my incision today. Strange to think that's where she finally came from - after a labor to remember. I'd go back and do it again in a heartbeat.

Still getting used to this mother thing though.

"They float down here. And when you're down here, you'll float too!"

I finished Jodi Picoult's The Pact this morning. I don't know what I think about the ending. The whole book was depressing. Parents who don't know their kids; kids who don't know who they are. It was well written and compelling, as usual; she's one of those who can break rules and it's OK. But the ending. Was it too quick? I like that she ended with the climax and wrapped up in an epilogue, but I felt there was one bit of information lacking.

I don't want to ruin this book for anyone, so that's all I'll say, but if you've read The Pact, did you think there was at least one bit of information lacking in the epilogue, or did you love how it was done?

My husband is finally conquering his fear of Stephen King's It. He's been afraid of the story, or the Pennywise the clown, since the movie came out on TV in 1990. He's on page 753 of the book now and loving it, which is validating to me, as it's one of my favorite books.

I would love it if he started reading fiction regularly. He's already a great idea man and has been helping me with my novel a bit (although sometimes I have to tell him to save it; the plot is the plot, and these other fantastic ideas can go into other stories), and I think his reading fiction will make for some fun conversation. Not as though we don't already have great conversation, but how cool would it be to talk about psychology, research, AND story, among other things, of course.